EDTATO 43

Chapter 43

How long had it been since I had last uttered those words—that I would love you?

Disgusting.

My stomach churned, a mixture of hatred and tension twisting inside me. My lips trembled. So did my entire body.

Dekiel was trembling too.

His eyes were wide, and his cheeks had taken on a faint flush, proving how shaken he was.

The reason was obviously very different from mine, but the fact that I had managed to unsettle him made me hurry to continue.

—I will do anything you want. Whether you want me to whisper words of love or never leave the castle for eternity, I don’t care what it is.

Under the table, I secretly clenched the hem of my dress. My nails dug into my skin, causing pain.

I shuddered at the horrifying image that came to mind.

To be trapped beside Dekiel forever…

Could there be anything more miserable than that?

I endured this moment to the very end and forced myself to say what needed to be said.

—I will love you forever. Only you.

—I won’t run away.

—I won’t leave you, and I won’t try to die.

Everyone fell silent for a while after I listed those conditions one after another.

A bet with eternal love as the price…

Now that I thought about it, wasn’t this a truly horrifying wager?

Amid everyone’s silence, the faint sounds of their breathing mixed with the restless noises of the garden, each of them lost in their own thoughts.

After the clear call of a small bird rang out three or four times, Dekiel rose from his seat and leaned his upper body toward me.

—Heine…

He spread his arms wide and pulled me toward him.

Worried that he might refuse the bet, I offered no resistance and allowed myself to be embraced.

—I will.

Like a boy who had decided to take part in a wicked prank, Dekiel’s voice was filled with excitement and anticipation.

He had finally received the answer he wanted.

So why did I suddenly feel as though I were standing alone in an endless darkness?

For a moment, I felt lonely.

I really have been alone all this time.

Yes.

In the end, Dekiel hadn’t truly needed me.

He simply wanted someone who would struggle desperately against him, reject him to the very end, and recoil from him in disgust.

As I thought, what you feel isn’t love.

He only wanted to keep someone by his side who would seem to give up, yet still desperately search for a way to escape.

I really shouldn’t have expected anything from you.

After remaining silent for a long while, I finally smiled brightly and welcomed him for accepting the bet.

And then I realized something all over again.

As I thought, I’ll never be able to love you again.

Although we appeared to be solemnly entering into a contract disguised as a game, our figures looked refined, like nobles enjoying a spring afternoon in the garden.

—Heine, if you’ve decided to fall in love with me again, then let’s do it.

Dekiel kept saying those ridiculous words about falling in love again, still remembering the Heine of the distant past and cherishing those memories.

There really had been a time when I knew nothing about what kind of being this man was.

A time when I experienced a young, innocent love and whispered sweet words to him.

Did he still remember that?

How foolish.

Inside the arms of a man who believed he would obviously win, I cautiously met Fayden’s eyes.

And I smiled sadly.

The moment Dekiel accepted the bet, I had practically already won.

“After that, Dekiel swore to the bet using his power and drank the medicine without a hint of suspicion.”

Early in the morning, Fayden continued speaking between repeated yawns.

“Not even the slightest bit of suspicion.”

He then raised his glass as though making a toast.

There was nothing more than fragrant tea inside, but it was enough to remind me of the distant past, of the day when we had swallowed the medicine.

I furrowed my brow and quietly muttered,

“He had nothing to fear. That man is arrogant.”

“Exactly. He didn’t even seem to think that I would be able to restore your memories. I spent quite some time figuring out how you’d get around a condition forbidding that, but it ended up being completely unnecessary.”

The trick Fayden had prepared for me was simple.

To make me remember the time I had spent with him.

Even if he couldn’t directly tell me who he was, he could restore all my memories and let me remember who that person was.

It was an ingenious solution, perfectly characteristic of Fayden.

“Do you trust me a little more now?”

Fayden placed his hands on his hips and proudly puffed out his chest.

“You’ve been suspicious of me this whole time, haven’t you?”

“I wouldn’t call it suspicion, but there was a time when I thought you were useless.”

“Wow, seriously. Calling me useless is a bit harsh, don’t you think?”

After playfully scolding me, Fayden began rummaging through his bookshelves, saying that he needed to review several of his research journals.

I watched the back of my dependable friend with satisfaction, even humming softly to myself.

After discussing the dreams I had experienced throughout the night—dreams of my memories—I became certain.

My ending would unfold exactly as I wanted.

This game would proceed exactly as I had hoped.

“I’m leaving.”

“Already?”

“I think I’ll be busy soon.”

“You?”

“After I win the bet… I’ll have to become the Grand Duchess.”

I lowered my voice happily, like a girl dreaming about the distant future.

“I should prepare properly, too. If I’m going to live and die like a human being.”

After whispering those words, I stood up with a lively expression.

Soon, Dant and Bonie would come looking for me like baby birds searching for their mother.

If I stayed in Fayden’s laboratory for too long, it might arouse unnecessary suspicion, so I hurried to leave.

But my body suddenly stopped moving.

Fayden had grabbed my forearm and pulled me back.

“What?”

“Take this.”

What Fayden held out was a bag filled with a large quantity of medicine.

I looked back and forth between the dark-brown bag and Fayden.

He smiled with an unnecessarily innocent expression.

“It’s medicine that will make your body more like that of an ordinary human.”

I stopped in my tracks and turned around.

“An ordinary human?”

“You won’t heal from injuries as quickly anymore, and you may sometimes have difficulty using his power.”

“A medicine that can turn my body into that of a human?”

“You think something like that exists? It only imitates the effects.”

“……”

“And just so we’re clear, dying is impossible, so don’t look at me with such hopeful eyes.”

“Ah.”

“You know, don’t you? No matter what you do, you can’t die unless he lets you go.”

“Right. I know that very well…”

I let out a hollow laugh, mocking myself for getting my hopes up only to be disappointed.

Fayden quickly noticed my rapidly changing emotions and offered a light consolation.

“Still, it’s better than taking nothing. There are plenty of situations where it’s inconvenient for your wounds to heal too quickly, aren’t there?”

“This medicine also helps restore your stamina.”

As he explained further, Fayden patted the bag.

Unlike the medicine that restored memories, the medicines inside were dark, almost black, like deadly poison.

If I took this medicine, I wouldn’t have to worry about people noticing my abnormally rapid healing.

But I wouldn’t be able to use that power either…

For someone like me, who desperately wanted to live like a human being, I should obviously have welcomed this medicine.

Yet the thought that I would also lose the ability to use his power made me hesitate to take it.

I picked up one of the bottles from the bag and shook it playfully.

“If I take enough of this and become more like an ordinary human, then maybe I’ll be able to die if I die.”

“Hardly. It’ll only slow down your recovery and make your suffering last longer.”

Fayden dismissed my wish with a snort before speaking in a low voice.

“If you’re curious, why don’t you try dying?”

“I wonder what method I should try this time.”

“Ha. It’s no fun when I indulge all your nonsense.”

The High Priest, whose appearance alone made him seem holy, waved his hand and ended the conversation.

“Anyway, make sure you take it every day without missing a dose.”

“Got it.”

Fayden continued reminding me over and over, and before the laboratory door had even closed, he was already reaching toward the red book that seemed to be his most important research journal.

I quietly chuckled at his strangely flustered back before turning away.

Then I stared down at the bag of medicine he had given me.

“Haa…”

A thin laugh escaped me.

Now that I had remembered those memories, I was happier than I had been in a long time.

A bet that I’ll win.

Could there be a more enjoyable game than this?

And what made it even better was that my opponent didn’t even realize he had fallen into a trap.

Fayden, you’re a genius.

This is why I kept you alive.

A smile never left the lips of the woman hurrying down the corridor.

Everything was proceeding exactly as I had predicted.

Ah…

Having the upper hand was terrifyingly enjoyable.

He really doesn’t know anything.

I covered my mouth delicately so that my laughter wouldn’t grow louder, wandering through the mansion as I tried to calm myself.

It looked like an ordinary morning, just like any other.

But to me, everything had changed.

“Did something good happen?”

Before I knew it, Dant and Bonie had approached me, smiling along with me as they asked.

I couldn’t answer them.

But neither could I stop smiling.

After remembering everything, this morning was simply too happy.