EDTATO 09

Chapter 9

I never knew spending time with someone could be this enjoyable.

I carefully glanced at Ian as I bit into one of the macarons prepared for dessert.

His gentle voice, his elegant movements that anyone could have used as a model, and every thoughtful gesture with which he took care of me—

Ian was perfect without a single flaw.

His face was clear and bright, as though he possessed everything yet had nothing at all, while his eyes held a quiet warmth that seemed to know exactly how much he had. I found every bit of it satisfying.

“Heine, shall we get up now?”

I gladly nodded and rose, relying on his large hand.

Even the warmth conveyed through nothing more than his hand made my heart flutter inexplicably.

After skillfully straightening my dress, I took Ian’s hand and walked beside him.

It was nothing particularly new, but even during that short time as we leisurely left the restaurant, discreet attention rained down upon us.

The gazes of the people around us were even more intense than when we had entered.

I could practically feel their determination to thoroughly evaluate the young lady from the rumors this time.

As if they could do anything to me anyway.

I formed a coy, almost deliberately irritating smile.

No matter how sharply they glared at me, those powerless claws could not even scratch me.

If I wanted to, making your hearts mine would hardly be difficult.

Even without using the power contained within these eyes.

I briefly imagined a few little games—turning the faces consumed by useless jealousy into expressions of loyalty and making them bow their heads before me.

Then I stopped.

After all, I was the mysterious young lady who had taken the place beside Ian, the man loved by everyone. It was only natural that everyone would be curious and perhaps even a little upset.

With a generous heart, even those piercing gazes began to feel as unavoidable as the summer sun.

And so I walked on, trampling down the sharp eyes that repeatedly struck against my body.

Whenever my gaze happened to meet someone else’s, I played the part of nothing more than a shy and beautiful young lady, offering them a modest greeting.

“You may have found it a little overwhelming.”

The moment the carriage door closed, Ian’s expression quickly hardened.

He seemed worried about all the attention and gazes directed toward me.

That concern puzzled me a little.

It seemed far too deep to be merely an apology for the attention of others.

Eventually, Ian plainly apologized for his own mistake.

“I’m sorry.”

“Pardon?”

“Rumors about you have started spreading. I don’t know the details, but I was worried that some strange stories might follow you.”

I didn’t need him to explain further to understand.

The title being attached to me was the young lady taken in by the heir to the Grand Duchy.

It was exactly the sort of title that invited all kinds of speculation.

“That’s why I hurriedly arranged this dinner. I didn’t want anyone to make assumptions about you or misunderstand you however they pleased, so I deliberately chose a place where there would be plenty of people…”

Ian’s expression grew dejected.

There was something oddly appealing about the face of a gentleman looking so discouraged over something so trivial.

“I was being too selfish. If I’d known you would attract this much attention, it would have been better to have dinner somewhere quieter.”

What kind of man was this, so straightforward that he simply confessed everything he was thinking?

His innocence, appearing whenever I least expected it, made me laugh aloud like a girl who had just pulled off an amusing prank.

“I’m really fine.”

And I meant it. Their jealous gazes were actually entertaining.

Unfortunately, Ian, I’m not merely an innocent young lady.

What did a few hostile looks matter?

It wasn’t as though I had never trampled people underfoot throughout the countless lives I had lived.

I wasn’t simply a woman who had lost her memory and wandered through the forest, as Ian believed. Nor was I an ordinary person.

Perhaps I should think a little more carefully about whether I should drag Ian into this.

Suddenly, a pang of guilt pierced my chest, as though I wanted to confess my sins.

My path was far too treacherous for me to hold onto Ian by disguising my selfishness as something cute and harmless.

It was a precarious place where the slightest push could send me plunging into an unfathomable abyss.

I had already fallen countless times and grown numb to it.

But Ian was different.

I couldn’t drag someone this kind into a cruel wager and allow him to get hurt.

“Heine.”

Ian brushed back the strands of hair that had fallen over my face without me noticing.

His warm touch sent my silver hair drifting lightly aside.

It was a strange sensation.

At his single touch, the guilt that had repeatedly welled up inside me melted away.

The more I became consumed by those clear, transparent eyes, the more even the last remnants of my conscience seemed to disappear.

And then I realized something.

Compared with my past, a past overflowing with sin, simply considering whether to draw him into my life while pretending to be an innocent young lady was hardly even worth calling a bad deed.

Even so, I didn’t want to live that kind of life anymore.

Because I’m different from him.

All I wanted was to live like a human being one last time, and die like one.

Ian’s hand slowly cupped my cheek.

At the sight of his blue eyes directly before me, a tiny tremor appeared in them.

“Heine, there’s something I want to tell you.”

Ian’s upper body leaned toward me.

We were close enough that if the carriage jolted even slightly, our lips might brush against each other.

“Something you want to tell me?”

“If you’re all right with it…”

“……”

“Would you become my fiancée?”

His fiancée?

Unlike me, who tilted my head while pretending to be innocent, Ian lowered his eyes halfway, unable to conceal his nervousness.

“Hubert asked me whether you really are my ‘benefactor.’ I couldn’t withstand his questioning, so I ended up lying.”

“What kind of lie?”

“I told him that you and I had been secretly seeing each other as lovers.”

In other words, Hubert had seemed to suspect that Ian was lying about me being his benefactor, and under that pressure, Ian had accidentally told yet another lie—that we were lovers.

“I didn’t want you to remain in an ambiguous position within the mansion like this, and before I knew it…”

Unlike usual, Ian continued speaking without much coherence, anxiously watching my reaction.

He looked almost like a large dog with its tail drooping.

“So I thought that from now on, I should behave as though I were your lover…”

I quietly pieced the situation together.

Only belatedly did I understand everything, and I covered my mouth with my hand.

I had to hide the way my lips had fallen open despite myself.

“I’m really sorry. Even if my intentions were good, I’m sure you wouldn’t like me making such a decision on my own.”

Ian let his broad shoulders droop and rubbed his face wearily.

“I’ll gladly accept it if you’re angry with me. But this was the best solution I could think of.”

“……”

“No one would dare treat someone who is being considered as the future Grand Duchess carelessly.”

Certainly, from my perspective as a woman who had lost her memory, there could hardly be a more solid arrangement.

Being the heir to the Grand Duchy’s lover would serve as a stronger shield than any title.

“It will also make it easier for you to receive treatment from my elder brother, the High Priest… I just want you to know that I truly did all of this for your sake.”

Silence fell for a moment.

Ian kept his lips firmly pressed together, like a condemned man waiting to hear his sentence.

Although I was caught off guard, the position of Ian’s fake fiancée was an incredibly appealing proposal.

My memories were still incomplete, and I still needed Payden’s medicine.

If I could remain at the Grand Duke’s residence for a long time, then that would be perfectly fine with me.

“…You don’t need to apologize.”

Our fake engagement was a disadvantage to Ian, if anything. There was absolutely nothing about it that was bad for me.

“If it means I can stay at the mansion a little longer, then I’m actually grateful.”

“Is that really all right?”

“Of course.”

When I nodded, Ian finally let out a relieved breath.

His childlike, honest relief was so infectious that I ended up smiling along with him.

“It may be a fake engagement, but I’ll try to be helpful too. For example, I could fend off unwanted proposals from young ladies.”

“I’d really appreciate that. There’s only so much I can do to reject marriage proposals.”

I had only said it jokingly, but apparently it really was a headache for him. Ian accepted my joke seriously and thanked me.

Then his elegant blue eyes cautiously formed a smile.

“I look forward to working with you from now on, Heine.”

There was something difficult to read in his eyes.

They felt completely different from the anxious gaze he had worn moments ago, when he had been unable to contain his worry over my reaction.

Then he took a neatly folded document from inside his coat and handed it to me.

It was a copy of some official document.

“This is the family tree of the Count’s Family of Verdandi.”

I had no idea why he was suddenly showing me the genealogy of some unfamiliar count’s family.

But when I saw the name Heine written at the very bottom, I understood why Ian had given me the document.

“My brother says there’s almost no chance that your memories will return. He also said it would be difficult for you to continue living as an unidentified person like this.”

If the renowned Payden had reached such a conclusion, then I supposed it must be true.

I hid my mocking smile toward the High Priest, who knew my secret better than I did, and asked:

“If I were given an identity, it would certainly make my life easier… but would that really be all right?”

My question about whether it was all right was actually concern for Ian.

A fake fiancée and a fake count’s daughter.

They were astonishingly generous roles to give me, but my conscience made me wonder whether he could really remain unharmed after doing this much for my sake.

But Ian misunderstood my words in the kindest way.

“I know what you’re worried about. But don’t worry. I’ve prepared everything perfectly, so there’s no chance anyone will find out.”

His large hand covered mine.

When I flinched and looked at him, Ian gave me a bright smile.

The warmth of his consideration, warm as spring, made my chest ache.

If I managed to live happily in this lifetime, it would surely be because of this man.

Tears suddenly welled up in my eyes with frightening speed.

Thank you, Ian.

I desperately needed someone as kind as you.

I slowly clasped his hand in return and smiled sadly.