Chapter 13

Click.

I heard the door handle turn.

I had deliberately turned it slowly, but perhaps I had hit a nerve, as Mel didn’t tap on the tank even until I had turned the handle all the way.

If I look back right now, I know you’ll be crying.

The moment I steeled my heart and opened the door, a voice that shouldn’t have been audible rang out.

“Servein.”

“Servein.”

Unbelievably, it was a smooth and beautiful voice.

As if it had never been raspy or hoarse, Mel’s voice was in the same lovely state as before.

I hurriedly closed the door, turned around, and looked at Mel.

In truth, a few days ago, when I woke up to the sound of his tail hitting the tank, I had heard his groan.

However, because it was so brief, I had dismissed it, thinking I had mistaken a quiet sigh for his old voice.

But now, it was certain.

He had been able to speak ever since then.

The moment I realized that, a terrible sense of betrayal washed over me.

I should be happy that he could speak, but…….

In my head, I thought I ought to congratulate him, but the words that actually tumbled out were the exact opposite.

“……Why did you deceive me?”

“……Why did you deceive me?”

I was inherently a selfish and self-centered human being.

So, rather than feeling relieved that Mel could speak, I cared more about why he had deceived me.

Just what was he trying to gain by putting on such an act?

If I were in Mel’s shoes, for what reason would I have done such a thing?

Thinking it through that far, there was only one reason I could arrive at.

“Did you do it expecting that drawing out more of my sympathy would help you go back to the ocean?”

“It’s not like that! I’m sorry for deceiving you. But—”

Tears spilled from Mel’s eyes as he continued to speak.

“You were trying to get rid of me because I’m not as valuable as before, right? Actually, I can speak. So…….”

“……I asked you why you deceived me.”

To keep my heart from weakening at his pleading, I deliberately spoke with a cold voice.

In truth, I wanted to embrace him right away, soothe him, and tell him that I was by no means sending him to the lake for such a reason.

I wanted to tell him that none of that mattered, and that I was just glad he could speak.

Yet at the same time, I felt resentment toward Mel for trying to manipulate my emotions to persuade me.

Honestly, this was even more so because this wasn’t the first time I had felt this kind of attitude from him.

“I…… I…….”

Mel looked up at me and hesitated.

……Right. It must be hard to admit with your own mouth that you tried to use me.

I decided to show mercy. Instead of pushing him further, I chose to look away.

“No. You don’t have to tell me.”

“N-No! I’ll tell you! Just wait a moment!”

“If you’re doing this out of fear that I might harm you, you don’t need to worry.”

I took hold of the door handle once again.

Last time, I went with him when sending him to the lake, but I didn’t think I could accompany him this time.

It wasn’t just for emotional reasons; this body simply couldn’t endure walking all the way there.

……Either way, I have to send Mel to the lake eventually.

The fact that the tank was too cramped for him to even move his tail was one problem, but there was another reason as well.

I was reaching my limit in pretending not to be in pain in front of him.

“…….”

In fact, the hand gripping the door handle suddenly stopped moving.

As if rigor mortis were setting into a corpse, the extremities of my body often went stiff.

Instead of turning the door handle using my wrist, I pushed down with my entire arm to turn it.

Creeeak.

Before leaving, I looked at Mel one last time.

Even in this situation, I worried that he might still be afraid.

I couldn’t just leave the misunderstanding unresolved, fearing he would misjudge what I might do to him and tremble in anxiety.

“Sending you to the lake was for your own sake. I realized that because your tail kept hitting the tank, it got bruised and your scales were falling off.”

“…….”

“Did you really think I was trying to abandon you just because you couldn’t speak?”

Mel’s eyes trembled. It was a clear sign of affirmation.

Looking at his face, though I was hurt, I spoke calmly without showing it.

Still, I couldn’t hide my wounded expression.

“I told you. I don’t view you as an ornament or a pet.”

“That’s really not why! I—”

“You never trusted me until the very end, did you?”

“Servein!”

Click.

I closed the bedroom door and stood still in front of it for a moment.

As I stepped out, a maid passing through the hallway spotted me, approached, and asked for the reason.

“Young Lady? What brings you outside?”

“Just a moment…….”

I raised my hand to pause her briefly, closed my eyes, and leaned my back against the door.

A wave of dizziness rushed over me due to the sudden stress.

“Sob, ugh…….”

Beyond the door, I heard the sound of the ocean like a hallucination.

It was the sound of your crying. At that sound, I opened my eyes.

“……Prepare to move the merman to the lake.”

Pull yourself together. I must not collapse yet.

Until you go to the lake, I cannot afford to suddenly collapse and meet a doctor.

“Yes, when should we move him?”

“Within today.”

“Yes. But by any chance, will you also……?”

The maid hesitated, carefully reading my expression.

Naturally, she seemed to think I would go along when Mel was moved to the lake.

Even as they believed I had become much healthier than before, they worried about my condition even more than before.

In other words, it seemed she wanted to stop me from going.

“Don’t worry. I’m not going.”

“Ah, yes! We will take full responsibility and move the merman safely today.”

The maid answered brightly. On my exhausted face, I barely managed to imitate what could be called a smile.

His crying sound still echoed vividly in my ears.

The maid remained composed, as if she couldn’t hear that sound at all.

It felt like I was the only one hearing that sound and suffering from it. I couldn’t bear the sound any longer.

I quickly grabbed the arm of the maid who was about to turn and leave, and spoke.

“……I’m changing my mind. Please move him right away.”

As soon as that crying stopped, I opened the door and walked inside.

As if he had been eagerly waiting for me to come, Mel shouted urgently.

“Servein!”

How much had he cried? The rims of Mel’s eyes and the tip of his nose were bright red.

Shouting while pressed against the tank out of fear that I might step back outside with a face like that made his words seem genuine.

“I just did it because I wanted to be with you! I just thought I wanted to stay with you longer!”

“I just did it because I wanted to be with you! I just thought I wanted to stay with you longer!”

I stared blankly at that face.

That gaze, that urgent face—it felt as though he were telling the truth.

However, I quickly snapped back to my senses.

There was no way Mel would want to stay with me. So this was…….

“What do you want……? Why are you saying things like that to me?”

“Servein……?”

“The bottom line is that you want to go to the ocean, right? Is that why you’re trying to stay on my good side?”

I placed my hand against the glass of the tank. I stroked the back of my hand across it as if touching Mel’s face.

Though I spoke in a gentle tone, Mel looked deeply hurt upon hearing those words.

Yet I couldn’t be fooled by that face and cling to hope, because his words were far too unrealistic and irrational.

“You did it because you wanted to be with me? Are you saying you’re fine living in that tank for the rest of your life?”

“…….”

“Mel, put some effort into your lies. How can I believe those words when I know there isn’t a single reason for you to feel that way?”

I pulled away the hand I had placed on the tank.

When I said even that, Mel no longer cried or clung to me.

He sent me a look full of resentment. It was the face of someone who had been hurt and betrayed.

“……Don’t look at me like that. I didn’t want to say those things either.”

Even if I knew it was a lie, pushing him this far might have crossed the line between us.

After bringing him back to the tank, I had internally tried my best not to upset Mel.

The reason I drew the curtains from time to time was partly to keep the servants from seeing Mel, but also to give him personal privacy.

Our relationship was one that could easily shatter over a single argument.

To others, I was not someone who loved you, but someone who possessed you.

It must be no different to you. Even if I wished for it, ours was a relationship that could never be equal for the rest of our lives.

Knock, knock.

“Come in.”

Just then, the servants arrived to take Mel away.

They handed me a long cloth and stepped outside the room to wait again.

I wrapped the red cloth around the tank. Since it was a thin cloth, it wasn’t very heavy, but wrapping this large tank in cloth was quite a difficult task for me to do by myself.

Even so, I did this with my own hands to prevent others from seeing Mel.

I knew it too. It was absolute madness. Obsession to this degree was an illness.

Just before I finished wrapping the cloth, Mel asked with reddened eyes.

Since the cloth was red, I might have seen it wrong.

Because his voice was far too calm to describe his face as looking like he was about to cry.

“Before I go, let me ask one thing.”

“Sure.”

“Why didn’t you come to see me all this time?”

“Why didn’t you come to see me all this time?”

My breath hitched.

I instantly knew he was talking about the time he spent at the lake.

“……I sent letters instead.”

I offered a pathetic excuse.

However, as soon as I said that, another question attached itself.

“Then why did you stop sending letters after a while?”