ITHMF 04

Chapter 04

Night had fallen again.

Hearing the door close, I cracked open one eye.

Is she gone?

Focusing all my senses on my ears, I roughly gauged Maya’s location. As soon as I confirmed that I could no longer hear her footsteps, I quickly got out of bed.

The reason I was making this outing again today, which was supposed to be a one-time escapade, was entirely because of Kairan. Perhaps because I knew the original story so well, he kept weighing on my mind.

“Knowing how much he’s suffering alone, it feels wrong to just pretend I don’t know…”

I didn’t think meeting me would make Kairan’s burden any lighter. I just hoped that simply listening to him might offer a little comfort.

I was a bit worried about my identity being exposed, but… I’d be as careful as possible, and even if I was found out, given Kairan’s personality, he probably wouldn’t go around spreading rumors.

“So it’ll be fine.”

I soothed my anxious feelings and clenched my fists.

As someone who’d read the original novel several times, I was confident that even if Kairan discovered my identity, it would be alright.

Packing my handbag with the self-defense tools, I escaped the castle the same way as last time and quickly swam up to the surface. Then I swam around, searching for the cave I’d found before.

“It should be around here somewhere?”

The cave was located at the right end of the beach, connected directly to the forest on land, so it wasn’t easy to find right away.

And then, after a moment of fumbling through my memories, I finally found the sparkling cave.

However, my joyful swimming came to an abrupt halt when I spotted Kairan already there, and I stopped in my tracks, startled.

Splash!

Hearing the sound of water, he turned his head. Our eyes met, and there was a very brief moment of silence.

It was Kairan who broke the stillness.

“Here you are again.”

“…Hi.”

When I gave a small wave of greeting, Kairan chuckled lightly and waved back.

Now that I’d regained my past life’s memories, Kairan’s appearance was exactly as described in the original novel. I’d tried to imagine what he might look like, but the real thing was much better.

His blond hair, which reminded one of the blazing sun, sparkled as it caught the moonlight. His moist, dark eyes were so clear they evoked obsidian, and the slightly upturned corners of his lips, creating a gentle atmosphere, were very charming.

His face was so much more radiant than my vague imagination that I involuntarily let out a gasp of admiration.

“Wow…”

Covering my slightly parted lips with my hand, my eyes sparkled.

To think I’d actually see the male lead from the book in person!

Overwhelmed with emotion, I simply couldn’t tear my gaze away. After I stared at him intently for a long while, Kairan seemed flustered by the intensity of my gaze and blinked rapidly.

Ah! I was staring at him like he was a statue!

Only after my wits returned did I realize he must have felt burdened. Feeling embarrassed, I scratched my cheek and gave an awkward laugh.

“Sorry. I was staring too intently, wasn’t I?”

“Hmm, you were.”

“Did it bother you?”

“No. I was just wondering if I had something on my face.”

Fortunately, Kairan didn’t seem to read too much into my actions.

Letting out a sigh of relief, I waved my hands as if to say ‘no, that wasn’t it.’ Then I cautiously approached the rock on the opposite side of the cave.

Careful not to show my tail… Just in case, I kept my tail moving mostly underwater and propped myself up on the rock with my hands.

Kairan watched my movements very quietly. Feeling a little shy under his direct gaze, I cleared my throat and asked.

“Why are you here today?”

“That’s what I want to ask you.”

“Me?”

Widening my eyes, I looked at Kairan with a puzzled expression. He nodded lightly and said.

“I thought you wouldn’t come again.”

“Why? Did I seem that eager to go home that day?”

I rubbed the back of my neck slowly, feeling sheepish. I must have seemed so anxious and fidgety because I was so nervous, and that’s how it looked to Kairan.

My guess seemed correct, as he nodded slowly. Then, with a languid smile, he said he would have been disappointed if he hadn’t seen me again. His voice, carried on the night air, was slightly low, giving me a strange feeling.

With that expression, Kairan added nonchalantly.

“Well, you don’t usually forget someone who made your heart skip a beat.”

“Huh? I made your heart skip?”

But I didn’t really do anything back then…

Frowning slightly, I slowly replayed the day I’d met Kairan. He definitely looked surprised when he saw me. But ‘skip a beat’ was…

‘…Ah!’

As I thought about it, I recalled what Kairan had said that day.

—

“I thought you were a ghost.”

—

He’s teasing me!

As soon as I realized that, I narrowed my eyes and glared at Kairan.

“You were going to say you thought I was a ghost again!”

“That wasn’t it, actually.”

“Liar. You’re smiling right now!”

Despite his calm voice, the corners of his mouth were slightly raised.

When I pointed it out, poking my own cheek with my finger, Kairan touched his own face lightly. His expression seemed a little flustered.

Tracing his raised lips with his finger, Kairan soon let out a deflated laugh.

“Really.”

“What’s with that ‘I didn’t know’ tone?”

“Just surprised.”

“Could you explain a bit more? There’s a limit to me understanding just from your expressions.”

When I pressed him seriously, Kairan let out another chuckle. Somehow, he seemed to be enjoying the situation.

And why did I feel like he thought I was cute?

I wanted to dismiss it as my imagination, but Kairan’s eyes didn’t lie. So that look was one of seeing someone younger than himself.

Who’s treating who like a child?

Feeling oddly offended, I crossed my arms and frowned. Kairan then showed his palms in apology.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean it in a bad way. I was just surprised that my mood had lifted.”

“…”

“Before you came, I was feeling really down.”

Ah, right. I came here to comfort him, didn’t I?

Only then did I remember my purpose for being there. I’d almost forgotten my reason for coming, distracted by Kairan’s face.

But he did say he felt a bit better because of me, so I’d half succeeded, right? It was quite different from my plan to calmly listen, but the goal was achieved nonetheless, so it was a relief.

Just then, Kairan, who had casually confided his feelings, asked in a low voice.

“What have you been up to?”

“Me? Just the usual. Attending lessons, pursuing hobbies. You?”

“I… pretty much the same.”

But his expression was very bitter, contrary to his words.

Seeing Kairan lower his gaze, I could roughly guess the situation.

He probably spent today nursing Riose too, right?

Around this time, that was all Kairan seemed to do.

As far as I remembered, he was only two years older than me, but seeing him with such an expression already made my heart ache.

According to the character info the author had personally released, he was only fifteen years old. Yet his darkened expression and eyes were too heavy for his age.

He’s only fifteen…

As I tried hard to hide my pity, Kairan happened to change the subject.

“By the way, do you live in the sea?”

The problem was, that was a very difficult question.

“Huh?”

“I’m asking if you live here.”

Kairan’s finger pointed directly at the calm sea.

I pretended not to hear and tried to change the subject. He must have grown suspicious of me constantly staying in the water. Perhaps he’d even realized I wasn’t human.

Well, a person being in the sea at this hour… unless they were a water spirit, it was hard to explain.

But understanding it logically and admitting it openly were two different things. I ignored my racing heart and tried to act as nonchalant as possible.

Kairan watched me play dumb for a moment, then smiled knowingly.

“It seems hard to answer. Then I won’t ask further.”

“…Mm.”

I nodded vigorously, conveying my thanks. It probably didn’t make much sense to hide being a mermaid when I was already basically caught, but for the sake of my last shred of conscience, I chose to keep quiet.

To change the mood, I asked lightly.

“But do you come to this cave every day? You seem to be here whenever I come.”

“Yeah. The moon looks best here. It’s quiet, and it’s a good place to clear my thoughts.”

“I see. Then can I ask what you’re thinking about?”

“Hmm…”

Kairan avoided my gaze, as if he didn’t want to talk about it.

He probably doesn’t want to be questioned, right? If he didn’t want to talk, I had no intention of pressing further. Just as I was about to change my mind after waiting silently for his answer, Kairan spoke.

“It’s not because of anything specific. It’s just that lately, there hasn’t been a single day I’ve felt good.”

“Is there something on your mind?”

“…”

“I might not be able to solve it, but I’m a good listener…”

So wouldn’t you feel at least a little relieved if you let it all out?

In the original, Kairan confided his feelings to the female lead Flora much later, and after that, he said ‘I feel relieved.’ He said he’d never known that just talking to someone could make him feel better.

Every time I read that scene, I felt so sorry for him that I remember shouting that I wanted to comfort him myself. This was the perfect opportunity for that wish to come true.

I looked at the conflicted Kairan with sparkling eyes.

I’ll listen! I want to be a comfort to you!

Seeing me appeal with my eyes, Kairan let out a soft laugh.

“You want to hear that badly?”

“Well… it’s not necessarily that I want to hear it, but I thought maybe you’d feel a little better if you talked?”

“I wonder.”

After staring at me with his arms crossed, he spoke quietly.

“Actually, my mother is very ill. Recently, her condition has been so bad that she can’t even move and just lies in bed.”

“Ah… What’s wrong with her?”

“They can’t figure out the cause, so they can’t treat it either. They’re using all sorts of methods, but it doesn’t seem easy.”

His voice as he said this was calmer than I expected. I might have mistaken it for someone else’s story.

But having read the original, I knew that he wasn’t good at expressing these emotions. Kairan was good at laughing, but not at crying.

That’s why his face, which seemed so nonchalant and calm, looked even sadder to my eyes.

“We came to the villa because the air here is clearer than in the capital. I thought it might help Mother’s condition a little.”

“Has she improved at all from before?”

“Hmm, more than in the capital. So everyone was hopeful, but then the treatment started stagnating again.”

Riose, an extra like me, appeared and disappeared within just a few lines. As if her sole reason for existing was to be a sacrificial lamb for Kairan’s unfortunate childhood.

If left alone, she would die just like in the original…

While I thought that was the natural course of things, I also felt sorry. Seeing Kairan so sad directly made it hard for me to lightly think that I should let her die for the sake of the plot.

Would it be alright to save Riose?

I didn’t think one extra’s life would drastically derail the original story. After pondering for a long while, I very cautiously asked.