ITMLWKM 3

Chapter 3.

But that night, instead of bowing my head to Carsian, I clenched my fists and shouted.

“This isn’t right!”

I huffed and glared toward the window where the moon hung bright and full. It was already past midnight. I hadn’t even had a single sip of water the whole time.

Because—

“Starving me for a ‘diet’? Are you serious?!”

Betty, still holding a grudge, had gone and spilled every last detail to Mother. I stamped my feet in pure frustration.

When I kicked Betty out, I figured there would be some kind of backlash. I just never expected it to be this petty—starving me starting from lunch!

“Right, Betty was Mother’s little helper. I should’ve seen that coming… that they’d team up to mess with me!”

I’d been so focused on the original novel that I completely forgot about my life before the regression. The original story only started after our family got wiped out, so none of these small, everyday details ever showed up. I overlooked that.

“Okay. The original is important, but for now it’s better to remember my life before the regression.”

That way I could actually understand how this household worked.

Before the regression, Mother had suddenly assigned Betty to me as my personal maid. Back then I was dumb enough to be happy about it. ‘Mother even gave me my own attendant!’

“She sent her to watch me.”

I grumbled under my breath.

I still didn’t fully know why Mother wanted to keep an eye on me.

“But one thing’s clear now.”

She was using this exact method to harass her bastard child. Betty had done her job perfectly and reported every little thing, just like Mother wanted.

“Otherwise Mother wouldn’t have shown up so fast.”

After Carsian stormed out, Susan and I sat across from each other eating cookies and milk while trying to figure out how to calm him down. Then Mother suddenly walked in and—

‘You’ve gotten fat. The young masters won’t like that.’

—started criticizing me out of nowhere. I just stared at her, wondering what kind of nonsense that was, and she left with only one more line.

‘Don’t eat anything for the rest of the day. You need to lose weight.’

So my last meal had been one cookie and half a glass of milk that I shared with Susan at lunch.

Grrr… My stomach was sticking to my back.

“Ugh… Getting mad just made me hungrier…”

I dragged my feet to the bed, completely drained of energy.

A little while ago Susan had gone out, saying she’d try to sneak some food while watching for any eyes outside. I wasn’t holding out much hope.

“Knowing Mother… she probably already threw out every leftover on purpose.”

Even before the regression, Mother had always been especially stingy about what I ate. Basic meals were one thing, but any nice desserts always went to my little sister, Elene. Back then I thought she was just trying to keep me looking pretty. Turns out she just didn’t like me.

And it wasn’t just food. Every dress and piece of jewelry I wore used to belong to Elene. Isn’t it usually the younger sister who inherits the older one’s things? With us it was the opposite.

When I asked about it, Mother stroked my hair and said,

‘You know how greedy Elene is. A good older sister puts her little sister first, right?’

Back then I was so happy just to have her stroke my hair and call me Elene’s older sister that I let it go.

“I was such an idiot…”

I muttered bitterly.

There was more. She took Elene to the imperial capital parties instead of me, the actual eldest daughter. She even started arranging Elene’s engagement first. Anything good always went to Elene.

I used to wonder why. Now I knew.

“It was all because I was a bastard.”

I gave a faint smile and buried my face in the blanket. Thinking about my past life—how I knew nothing and just desperately tried to be loved—made me feel so miserable and bitter.

Around then, Susan came back.

“Young lady, I brought food!”

“Huh? Really?”

I sat up in surprise.

Susan was actually holding two pieces of bread and a bowl of thin soup.

“Where did you get that? I was sure Mother would’ve thrown everything away…!”

The bread was a little hard and the soup was cold, but after going hungry all day it looked incredibly appetizing.

“The chef gave me the late-night snack he was going to eat himself.”

“His own snack?”

“Yes. He said if he’d known we hadn’t eaten, he would’ve set some aside earlier, and he apologized.”

Which meant they had cooked everything, then later secretly threw it out. They must not have told the other servants in case someone tried to help me.

“Please eat, young lady. You must be starving.”

Susan held out both pieces of bread and the soup with an apologetic look, like she was embarrassed it was so little.

I took one piece of bread and held it out to her.

“Let’s eat together.”

“What?”

“You’ve been stuck in here with me this whole time. You haven’t eaten anything either.”

“But…”

“And this soup too.”

I pushed the bowl she had offered me back toward her.

“Let’s share. Bread alone is too dry.”

“Young lady…”

Susan held the bread and looked at me with a deeply moved expression.

Ahem… Getting this emotional over something so small felt a bit much… but then again, I had treated her pretty terribly before. In this life I was never going to do that again.

I made a firm promise to myself and said,

“Come on, let’s eat.”

“Yes, young lady.”

Susan sniffled quietly, then poured some soup into another bowl and took a sip. I skipped the soup entirely and wolfed down the bread. But Susan only ate a little soup and barely touched her bread.

“Susan, is the bread too hard?”

“Huh? Oh, no.”

She looked down at the small piece she’d broken off and gave an awkward smile.

“Actually…”

“Yeah?”

“I heard Young Master Carsian is going hungry too…”

“…What?”

Why him?

I brushed the crumbs from my mouth and stared with wide eyes.

“Well… they said you’re suddenly pretending to be nice.”

“Pretending to be nice?”

“Yes. Because you stopped bullying him. Other people were talking about it like that.”

Susan spoke in a gloomy voice.

“They said it’s all just hypocrisy… that being fake-nice is even worse, so you need to be punished. And that you only learn your lesson if someone else suffers for it.”

“So… Carsian is going hungry right now because I stopped bullying him?”

“I was in a hurry to hide the food and bring it here, so I don’t know all the details. But the madam’s maids were saying that as they walked by.”

“Ha…”

“So I… kind of couldn’t stop thinking about it.”

At her words I clamped my mouth shut.

I thought if I just stopped bullying him, Carsian wouldn’t get hurt because of “me” anymore. But instead they were treating him unfairly precisely because of what “I” did! So even without laying a hand on him myself, I was still causing him pain indirectly.

I stared at the untouched bowl of soup and said,

“Then let’s give him this.”

“…What?”

“I already ate my share of the bread, but I haven’t touched the soup yet.”

Susan, on the other hand, had finished her soup and was saving the bread for Carsian.

“So let’s split what’s left and take it to him.”

“Young lady…”

Susan covered her mouth, looking moved for what felt like the tenth time today.

“Yes… Our young lady has always been this kind and warm-hearted…”

A faint sheen of tears appeared at the corners of her closed eyes.

Ah, no… I mean… Carsian going hungry was my fault to begin with.

Feeling awkward, I fidgeted with my hands and then stood up.

“Let’s go. He might already be asleep, but…”

“I don’t think he’s sleeping yet. I caught a glimpse of light coming from under the door.”

Susan quickly picked up the soup bowl. I was about to follow her when something suddenly occurred to me, and I ran over to the desk. Susan watched me curiously as I pulled out the ointment she had brought earlier.

“After Carsian stormed out we got stuck here and never got to give it to him. Maybe we can hand it over while we’re at it.”

I looked at her with an expression that said, If we give it with food, maybe he’ll be a little less wary. Susan gave a warm smile and nodded.

“Shall we sneak out then?”

So we quietly made our way to Carsian’s room while everyone else was asleep.

Originally his room had been on the same floor as mine, just in a more out-of-the-way spot. But once people’s interest faded, they shoved him into a shed-like room right next to the ingredient storage.

Just like Susan said, light was leaking through the crack under the door.

“Thank goodness. Looks like he’s still awake.”

I whispered, and she shot me a look that clearly said, Go ahead and knock. Holding the ointment, I gave a small knock. Soon there was a faint sound of movement inside. But no answer came with it.

Carsian had been bullied by us, so of course he was on guard against everything. I cleared my throat and spoke first.

“Hey, it’s me. Latia.”

A short silence followed. When still nothing came back, I quietly pressed my ear to the door.

Then the reply finally arrived.

“Get lost.”