ITMLWKM 16

Chapter 16

At this point, I almost wished I’d just admitted that I was keeping Ppirori.

Getting caught with Ppirori would have been far better than getting caught with the magic potion.

I could always claim I’d only been caring for the bird temporarily and then say I’d released him back into the wild. But Susan…

No. Stop.

I forced myself to pull back from that spiral of regret.

The damage was already done. There was no point in sitting here thinking, If only I’d done this… If only I’d done that…

What mattered now was finding a way out of this.

I looked down at Ppirori, who was still trying to cheer me up with his adorable antics.

“I wish you could talk, Ppirori.”

Of course, Ppirori couldn’t prove my innocence.

The thought made me let out a bitter laugh.

“I really must be losing it.”

Depending on a bird for help? Seriously?

If I were just an ordinary ten-year-old who had died and gone back in time, that might be understandable.

But I had something more.

I had both reincarnated and regressed.

I even had knowledge from reading the original story.

And yet here I was, entertaining completely ridiculous ideas.

Then again, maybe that only proved how desperate I was.

Suddenly, I remembered how Ppirori became sick whenever I entertained bad thoughts.

“What should I do, Ppirori?”

“Pirrok?”

“Ppirori, you told me not to do bad things.”

Well… technically, I’d only interpreted his expression that way.

“But I have to get revenge.”

“Pii…”

“If I don’t, I won’t be able to face Susan. And I won’t survive, either.”

Ppirori blinked as if he didn’t fully understand what I was saying.

But he didn’t seem to be trying to stop me.

In fact, he looked unusually calm, almost as if he were evaluating me.

Then he waddled across the sofa and climbed onto my shoulder.

“Ppirori?”

He gently patted the side of my head with one of his wings.

“Ppiroro.”

It was almost as if he were saying:

“Your sins are forgiven.”

Or perhaps:

“Go ahead. I’m supporting your revenge.”

By the time I looked outside, darkness had already settled over the estate.

Grrr…

My stomach growled loudly.

But no one came to bring me any food.

Ppirori and I had spent hours sitting helplessly on the sofa.

Grrr…

My stomach growled again.

That was apparently the last straw.

“Ppik! Ppibik!”

Ppirori suddenly exploded in anger.

He flew straight to the door and began clawing frantically at the handle.

But there wasn’t a single sound from the other side.

“Ppirori, don’t waste your energy.”

“Ppiruru!”

“But those idiots!”

He was clearly furious.

“It’s fine. At least you can go outside and find something to eat.”

“Ppi?”

“You can fly out through the window. There are probably berries or worms in the garden.”

“Pii…”

His expression immediately drooped.

“How can I leave you behind?”

He looked so dejected that I couldn’t help but smile.

“I’ll be fine. Go on.”

After hesitating for a moment, Ppirori finally seemed to decide:

“Fine. I’ll bring you back some fruit.”

Then he flew out the window.

And that’s when it happened.

Just as he fluttered into the night—

Grab.

Someone caught him.

“Ppik!”

“…A bird?”

The unexpected intruder lifted Ppirori right up to his face.

I shot to my feet.

“Ka… Karsian?”

The person who had climbed through my window was none other than Karsian.

Behind him, the moon shone brightly.

Its bluish light illuminated his handsome face.

He was still only ten years old, so there was still a youthful softness to his features.

But he was the male lead for a reason.

Even under the dim moonlight, his ridiculous level of attractiveness was impossible to ignore.

I found myself staring blankly as he turned Ppirori over in his hands.

No.

Staring wasn’t the right word.

I’d been completely captivated.

“Ppiiiik!”

“Stop staring and help me!”

Only after Ppirori practically screamed at me did I finally come back to my senses.

“K-Karsian. Ppirori… I mean, that bird. Put him down. You’re hurting him.”

“I didn’t know you were keeping a bird.”

“It hasn’t been long.”

He immediately released Ppirori.

Ppirori smacked Karsian’s hand with his wing as if saying,

“You insolent little brat!”

Then he flew back to me.

I held out my finger, and he landed on it, chirping furiously.

“Ppibik! Ppiruru! Ppiruru!”

He sounded like he was complaining about why I’d just stood there watching instead of rescuing him.

After apologizing to Ppirori, I turned back to Karsian.

“Why are you—”

I stopped myself.

I almost asked why he was here.

But I already knew.

He’d heard that I’d been locked in my room for stealing the magic potion.

That was why he’d come through the window.

I pulled the restored letter paper out of my drawer and held it out to him.

“Here. You came to pick this up, right?”

If people had discovered I possessed the magic potion, then they might also suspect that I’d already restored the letter.

Naturally, I’d assumed he’d come for the letter.

But instead of taking it immediately, Karsian looked as if he’d only just remembered it existed.

“Oh. Right. That, too.”

“Huh?”

“But that’s not the only reason I came.”

“What do you mean?”

“I heard they weren’t even letting you drink water.”

“Oh…”

Was he here to make fun of me?

No…

Actually, I couldn’t rule that out.

I’d hurt him before.

Just as badly as I wanted revenge against Betty, Karsian probably wanted revenge against me.

And honestly?

Maybe I deserved it.

If I truly wanted to atone for what I’d done, then I should accept his revenge without complaint.

I nodded weakly.

But instead of mocking me, Karsian did something completely unexpected.

“Here.”

“…What?”

He held out a piece of bread.

“Eat it. You must be hungry.”

I stared at the bread in his hand.

“Ppik…”

Even Ppirori looked shocked.

At the tiny sound, Karsian reached into his other pocket and pulled out an unripe berry.

“I brought this as dessert, but I guess I’ll give it to your pet bird instead.”

“Ppiruk!”

“Who are you calling a pet bird?!”

Ppirori protested immediately.

Then he promptly flew over to the hand holding the fruit.

Meanwhile, I continued staring at the bread.

Karsian hesitated.

“Or do you not want it without soup?”

Then he clicked his tongue.

“Tch. Stealing soup would be difficult.”

He frowned.

“Wait here. I’ll go steal—”

“No!”

I grabbed his hand before he could turn around.

I clasped his wrist with both hands and pulled him back toward me.

“That’s… not it.”

My throat tightened.

No.

More accurately, I felt like I was about to cry.

What I was feeling right now was unmistakable.

Regret.

Ah.

I bullied someone this kind.

I made life miserable for someone this gentle.

I forced the words out through my constricted throat.

“I… don’t deserve this.”

“……”

“I’m sorry.”

He didn’t answer.

My chest felt tight.

My stomach churned.

Not only because I’d bullied him to earn my mother’s affection.

Not only because I’d spent days thinking, I should treat him better if I want to survive.

And not only because I’d decided to use him as a means of securing my future.

I was ashamed of all of it.

I kept my head lowered.

Then Karsian spoke.

“Then should I throw it away?”

“What? N-No! That’s not what I meant!”

Startled, I looked up.

He was smiling.

Or at least, he was trying not to smile.

He glanced at the hands clutching his wrist, then gestured toward the bread.

“Then take it.”

“I… but I…”

“Should I throw it away?”

His threat wasn’t scary at all.

Still, I hurriedly accepted the bread.

Then I lowered my head again.

“…Thank…”

“What?”

“…Thank you.”

My voice trembled.

I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.

Honestly, I’d been arrogant.

Even with the letter.

I’d told myself that it was perfectly reasonable for him not to trust me.

But at the same time, I’d assumed he’d still do exactly what I told him.

Because I’d known he didn’t have any other options.

I’d used his desperation.

I’d taken advantage of someone this kind.

I couldn’t forgive myself.

Not by telling myself that I was in trouble.

Not by telling myself I was only trying to survive.

As I sat there silently with my head lowered, Karsian spoke again.

“What exactly are you so sorry and thankful for?”

His voice was gruff.

Then he lightly tapped my cheek with his free hand, as if telling me to look at him.

Without thinking, I raised my head.

He smiled at me with the moonlight behind him.

“I was just paying back a debt.”

He really was kind.

Right to the very end.

But his smile didn’t last long.

“Why are you crying?”

Because tears had already filled my eyes.

“Were you really that hungry?”

He paused.

“Or… are you hurt somewhere?”

His rough fingers gently brushed the corners of my eyes.

His hands were calloused from working in the stables.

No one would have guessed those were the hands of a count’s son.

A trace of moisture clung to his fingertips.

At that moment, I made myself a promise.

I would remember the feel of those rough fingers for the rest of my life.

And someday, when Karsian reunited with his father and finally found happiness, I would repay this kindness.

And I would tell him the truth.

That I wasn’t terminally ill.

“Karsian.”

“What?”

“From now on… I’m going to make sure you’re happy. Really happy.”

You and that princess who becomes your wife are going to have one huge fight someday.

And when that happens, I’ll help you.

I won’t just run away.

I’ll tell you how to fix it before I leave.

I looked at him with complete determination.

He stared back at me silently.

Then he reached over and flicked my forehead.

“Just eat your bread.”

Ah. He doesn’t believe me.

But I was serious.

I really am going to make sure you’re happy.

Thinking that, I took another bite.

“…It’s good.”

The bread was cold and stale.

But it still tasted delicious.

Maybe it was because I was starving.

Or maybe it was because of the kindness of the person who had brought it to me.

Karsian simply sat there, quietly watching me devour the bread.