HTACS 47

Chapter 47

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Captain Qoo.

I’d actually drunk it once before coming into the game.

Well, to be precise—twice.

The first time was during my orphanage days. I think I was in my second year of high school. Since I had to leave the orphanage upon graduating high school, the director—who had always been kind to me—taught me about alcohol.

[This is a pretty high-class drink, Young-jin! Drink up!]

[D-Director, I think it’s a bit strong for me.]

[Drink! A man downs one shot and that’s when he becomes a man!]

When the Director poured me a shot of Captain Qoo, my mouth said, “Don’t drink it. You’ll die.” My heart screamed, “Save me.” And my chest said, “Are you out of your mind?”

In the end, one sip of that Captain Qoo—to be precise, that sticky 35-proof chemical liquor with a unique barley-and-coffee aroma—and I gently set the glass down.

This is not a drink for humans.

And our Director…

[Young-jin, drink! You have to work hard! Work hard, you hear me!]

[…Yes, Director.]

[Yeah, our Young-jin—happy new year. Let me bow to you once.]

[Director, why are you doing this!]

[Let me bow to you once!!]

Having downed exactly half a bottle of Captain Qoo, the Director performed a New Year’s bow to me.

It was July.

The next time I drank it was during my active-duty service. I think I was a sergeant.

I was dragged to a drinking party and got the chance to drink with the platoon leader.

[Young-jin, what are you planning to do after you get out?]

[I’m thinking of doing some construction work.]

[Really? Why? Not doing anything else? What do your parents say?]

[Actually… well, you see.]

I then revealed that I was an orphan and told him a bit of my story.

[…If you don’t have parents, aren’t you exempt?]

[I heard that if you’re from the engineering corps, you get an extra 10,000 won on site.]

[…Ha. You enlisted just for that, you idiot. Really… Ha. What a shitty world. How can this be…]

And the platoon leader downed a shot of Captain Qoo on the table and shouted:

[This FUCKING WOOOORLD!!]

Then he suddenly slammed his head on the table and started crying.

It was November, three months before my discharge.

—

Anyway—Captain Que—no, Captain Qoo—renamed and brought into this world—was an Easter egg created by the game company.

An item only obtainable from Wolfram’s corruption warehouse.

In the main story, if you used an Analysis Scroll or the Find Item skill on it, the description would read: [Alcohol that former student council president Wolfram von Lohengrin received as a bribe. The mental state of Wolfram, who drank this stuff, is questionable. The liquor type is rum (or something similar)—it might be usable wherever strong alcohol is needed…?] A pretty amusing description—I still remember it.

And—surprise—that Wolfram is right here.

Anyway—because I knew this tip, I could prepare the finest snacks and the finest alcohol—well, alcohol-filled snacks—as a gift for the Fairy Queen. The Fairy Queen shook the whiskey—no, Captain Qoo bonbons—and smiled.

“High-class snacks! Nice! I like it!”

Saying that, she popped a bonbon the size of two of her fingers into her mouth and—*crunch*—bit down.

“Oh, this flavor… the intense alcohol that bursts out when you bite into the sweet pastry… *hic.*”

*Thud.* The Fairy Queen collapsed on the spot. The wolf beside her roared.

“Poison!”

“No—the queen just has a weak tolerance.”

“…What? The Queen has been soaked in alcohol for the past three hundred years! How dare you!”

Ah, he doesn’t believe me.

“Then you try one.”

“What?”

You’re not supposed to give chocolate to wolves, but he’s a spirit. In the game, he ate them just fine too.

Hmm—but I came here for the Fairy Queen—giving it to a messenger wolf feels like a waste. Captain Qoo is a precious item—only fifteen boxes exist in this world.

Let’s see…

“Are you scared? Afraid you’ll pass out after just one?”

“…Ha. You talk big. Should I turn you into minced meat?”

“The oath with our ancestor.”

“Ugh. Y-you bastard.”

“We can’t be hostile to each other.”

“Grrrr…!”

Yes, yes. You’re an oath-bound coward, so I can barely hear you. Go ahead and bark like a dog.

Anyway—I’d also recalled roughly what I needed to gain, and it wouldn’t be a bad deal for him either.

“Let’s make a bet.”

“A bet…?”

“Eat five of these bonbons. If you pass out, I win. I’m innocent—there was no poison, and you become my subordinate.”

“And if I don’t pass out?”

“Then you don’t. You just get to eat five high-class pastries.”

“Are you joking?”

“If you don’t like it, forget it. Think about it carefully… It’s not a bad offer for you either.”

“……”

The wolf thought for a moment, then grinned.

“Hmph. Not a bad proposal. No—rather…”

“Say any more and it won’t be a fair bet. Hold your tongue.”

“…Fine. Hand them over! Hurry!”

I handed five bonbons to the wolf.

“Hmm. Definitely a unique flavor. Hmm. Hmm.”

One.

The wolf’s cheeks flushed.

“Oh, this hits the spot. Hey, you got more? More, I said!”

Two.

The wolf’s tongue loosened.

“…Ah, that floor bastard kept picking a fight with me! Hey! Hey! Come at me! Fuck, that floor bastard, I didn’t like him!”

Three.

The wolf started fighting the floor.

“…Not bad, oh. Not bad. I’ll deal with you after I eat this. I’ll beat you all. Hey! Hey! Bring it, you bastard!”

Four.

The wolf took a hit from the floor and collapsed.

“Hmm. One left. Still—four is impressive.”

“What was that just now?”

At Eve’s question—who had just witnessed that farce—I shrugged.

“A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”

“Don’t be dramatic. It’s disgusting.”

“Considering you did nothing the whole way here, you sure talk a lot.”

“Ha…!”

We laughed and raised our middle fingers at each other.

Don’t make me laugh.

I might get attached.

“Then let’s go back. If we walk back the way we came, we’ll reach the Eastern Forest.”

“Huh? We’re just leaving?”

“Come back around the day after tomorrow.”

“…Not even tomorrow?”

“Hmm.”

Well, of course.

Those two won’t wake up tomorrow.

By the day after, they’ll wake up without a hangover.

“That’s that kind of alcohol.”

“Magical alcohol, I suppose.”

Well.

It is kind of magical.

—

Two days later, we returned to the Eastern Forest—and the guide wolf was standing there.

The wolf looked at us with an apologetic expression.

“…Did you come by any chance yesterday? I was asleep all day, so I wouldn’t have known.”

“No—we didn’t come yesterday.”

“I see. That’s a relief.”

“No hangover, I take it?”

“…Yes. Completely clean. Though a whole day disappeared. The Queen is also waiting in good condition.”

Led by the guide wolf, we headed toward the Queen’s castle, and soon arrived at the audience chamber. From inside, Elpirane’s voice called out.

“Come in—descendants of Hark.”

“Pardon the intrusion.”

The moment I opened the door, the world turned upside down once more.

“Wow.”

It was an ocean.

The view sank into blue—fish and coral walked together. Where the ceiling should have been, there was a blue barrier. Sunlight gently illuminated the seabed from above.

Literally—the feeling of breathing underwater. I unconsciously checked to see if I really could breathe.

“Beautiful.”

After confirming my breathing, I let out a sigh of admiration.

The pinnacle of mystery displayed by a magical monster who had only manipulated space for five hundred years.

A fantasy so profound even Eve—with mana 22—couldn’t see through it.

“Hehe. Surprised? But it’s all solid ground, so feel free to come in.”

“We’ll do that.”

Following the Queen’s lead, we sat at the table. Eve carefully sat down as well.

“So—descendants of Hark. I heard you came to tell me something.”

“Yes. Fairy Queen Elpirane—let me speak plainly once more. Stop your pranks on Zephrin.”

“Pranks?”

“Do you intend to repeat the same conversation? I’m talking about deliberately scattering pollen toward Zephrin.”

“…The same conversation? This is the first I’ve heard of it.”

“Are you trying to break the deal? Captain Qoo is strong alcohol—even if you, who has trained magic for five hundred years, took a deep sleep, there’s no way your memory would be severed.”

“…Ugh.”

“According to the archives, your will easily exceeds 20. There’s no way a single bonbon could break it.”

“Did Hark record even that?”

No.

I know because I’ve used you as an ally before.

But if I say “it’s also written in the archives,” it usually works.

“It’s actually written in the archives. Let me say it once more—stop the one-way dispersal of pollen.”

“…Yes. I understand. I’ll do that. I did receive good snacks, after all.”

Saying that, she looked at the Captain Qoo bonbons I’d left in the corner and nodded.

“You seem to have liked them? They’re not that high-class, though.”

“Cheap things are always sweeter and more stimulating.”

“And—another thing. My bet with the wolf has been established.”

“…Bet? What bet?”

“A bet that if I win, the wolf becomes my property.”

“…You mean to say—he lost and is now your property?”

“That’s right.”

The Fairy Queen’s atmosphere shifted.

First hatred, rage, disbelief—then resignation. After that—deep despair.

“You knew, didn’t you? What would happen if you made that bet.”

“The wolf must follow my commands—and naturally, he can leave Zephrin.”

“And you’re his accomplice too?”

“…I’m sorry, Your Majesty.”

Fairies are free-spirited,

mischievous,

liars,

and above all—they have a strong wanderlust.

“If I had my way, I’d annihilate you here… but now that he’s the property of Hark’s descendant, I can’t. What a pity.”

“I trust you’ll understand.”

“…Because that’s the bet and the promise.”

So—the wolf eagerly accepted the bet with me.

If a bet judged to be equal is conducted without manipulating the outcome, the losing fairy becomes the victor’s familiar.

So in that moment, we tacitly agreed. The odds were actually fifty-fifty—but I trusted Captain Qoo, and it worked.

The first opportunity in three hundred years to escape the fairy land.

The bet was fair, and the wolf accepted defeat.

And I—the victor—took ownership.

The Fairy Queen cannot touch Imperial blood, nor can she threaten Imperial property.

In other words—that bastard got out before the Queen could.

The wolf and I looked at each other and smirked. Our eyes said, “You cheating bastard.”

“Phew. Yes. I’d rather have made a bet with you myself, lost, and gotten out.”

“Have the Fairy Queen as my subordinate? Ha…”

I stared at her intently.

I still clearly remember the Fairy Queen Elpirane’s stats.

Strength 4, Dexterity 5, Stamina 8… Mana 21, Will 21.

Even if I took this monster with me, there’s no way she’d listen to me.

“Someday, an Imperial will come to free you.”

“Someday? When? Another three hundred years?”

“No. About three years from now.”

“Huh?”

I glanced at Eve—and the Fairy Queen stared at her too.

And she understood.

“…I see. Not now—but she does have parts that surpass me.”

“Right.”

“She’ll fight me to the death, won’t she? Just like Hark—who fought me to the death the moment we met?”

“Of course. She’s a child who hates losing more than dying.”

“…I look forward to her growth. Hehe. My blood boils.”

“Then rest assured.”

“What are you two talking about?”

At our incomprehensible conversation, Eve tilted her head.

“Nothing. Haha.”

“Yes. Nothing at all. Hehe.”

The Fairy Queen and I shook hands firmly.

Well—it’s nothing much. Around the time you graduate, you’ll have a bloody life-or-death fight with the Fairy Queen—pulling in even your soul—and free her.

“Good luck, Eve.”

“Get stronger quickly, descendant.”

“……?”

Leaving Eve—who still couldn’t follow the conversation—behind, the Fairy Queen and I exchanged farewells.

“The pollen matter—I’ll take care of it.”

“Yes. Please do.”

“No—scatter it so it avoids Zephrin as much as possible.”

“Fine. In return, visit occasionally. Bring good alcohol or snacks—and I’ll give you gifts in return.”

“…Yes. I’ll visit occasionally. I remember all your favorite alcohols and snacks.”

“Was that also in the archives?”

“…Hmm. Yes. It was.”

I remember all of her hobbies and preferences.

Elpirane is a hidden heroine who branches off from Eve’s route as a side option.

“Go safely, descendants.”

“I’ll visit again, Elpirane.”

—

When we left the Fairy Queen’s castle—it was me, Eve, and the wolf together.

On the way back, Eve suddenly spoke.

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“The pollen. For once—just a little—the students of a hundred thousand Zephrin won’t have to feel the class divide. You… no, your side, more so.”

Eve’s expression was somehow gloomy. A bitter smile of sadness and self-deprecation.

“Why are you making that unpleasant face?”

“…Ah, really.”

“Ah—is it because Eve von Lohengrin couldn’t do something that Wolfram von Lohengrin could—so you’re thinking ‘why did I even rebel, I’m such an idiot’?”

“…Right now, I’m thinking about planting a Light Spear in your head and killing Wolfram von Lohengrin.”

Whoa, whoa. Calm down. Hey, you’re not shooting that.

Hmm.

Even in the game, there was a route where Eve acted like such a loser.

What did Kelterus say to scold her back then?

Ah. Right.

“What you should be doing isn’t regretting.”

“Excuse me?”

“Accept it, and find a breakthrough. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck forever.”

At my words, Eve’s eyes went wide—and then she puffed out her cheeks.

“…Yes. I will! I will!”

And she strode forward.

Such a temperamental girl.

“…You care about your sister, huh?”

“What, if she whines like a loser, it just makes things more tiring for me.”

“Let’s say that’s true. So—do we part ways here? When we meet again, I’ll repay the favor.”

“……?”

What are you talking about?

“Then I’ll wander around the human world and…”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Who said I was releasing you?”

“…What?”

“Re-examine the contract. You are my property.”

“Wait, wait. You don’t have the mana to control me! How are you going to do it? I’m a battle spirit! The Red-Maned Wolf!”

I know. I’ve taken quite a beating, so I know very well.

But—

“Who said I was going to use you for battle?”

“What?”

“From tomorrow, your fate is to pull my cart instead of me.”

“……?”

“Accept it.”

“…A c-cart?”

“You’re going to help me with my business. It’s nothing much—deliver packages in the morning, handle some deliveries, pull the cart, and occasionally protect me.”

“…That means.”

“Is dog food enough for your meals? If there’s something you prefer, I’ll accommodate.”

“You’re actually going to treat me like a dog?”

I nodded.

“Wasn’t that the bet?”

“I thought that was just a face-saving phrase.”

“Let’s do our best. Patrasche.”

“That name is worse!”

“…Then Wolfie? Jin-dol? Whiny? Red? Dung-dog?”

“Just… call me Patrasche.”

So obedient.

Good boy.