TNLY 6

Chapter 6

– If I return victorious from the war, I want to be recognized by His Majesty and marry.

– I miss you.

A bastard prince overshadowed by the crown prince who basks in the emperor’s favor. And the much-resented eldest daughter of a count’s household.

I believed that we had saved each other.

Seeking something to cling to in the most precarious of moments…

I slowly chewed over Ido-rain’s words. It was hard to suppress the swelling in my heart.

\* \* \*

The imperial funeral was attended by imperials and nobles who had respected them.

It was also at a funeral that I first met Iliana, Carlisle’s younger sister.

With her long black hair let down, weeping, she looked like an angel embracing the world’s misfortunes.

I already knew she was adopted, but regardless of that, hers was a face that had grown up receiving more love than anyone.

Carlisle naturally comforted Iliana.

‘…I heard that Young Master Carlisle also cherishes the young lady enormously.’

But all of his actions felt like pretense. It even seemed as though the death of Duke Cassion did not sadden him.

Am I the only one sensing that subtle difference?

“I hear Young Master Carlisle is to become the head of the house?”

“Of course—he can use magic. More worrying is that the late duke was so… with his work…”

“Shh! Madam, someone might hear!”

Beyond the chattering noble ladies, I could see Sirihan and Iliana holding back their tears.

The only one who mattered to me was Sirihan.

‘Sirihan… I know how hard this must be for you.’

He too must never have imagined his brother would die like this.

It was while I was gazing at Sirihan’s face for a long while.

‘Why is he looking at Iliana like that?’

An inexplicable unease began to surge. Sirihan was looking at Iliana with the very eyes that had once promised me love.

All I could do was suppress the uncomfortable feeling.

“Sirihan!”

Sirihan was supporting Iliana, who had collapsed from crying herself to exhaustion. At the same moment, I called his name.

It was instinctive.

But Sirihan did not seem to hear me—he hoisted Iliana onto his back.

There was a brief commotion, but most people remained in their seats.

I was the only one who followed Sirihan and Iliana out.

Once outside, I took in the sight of him tending to Iliana with tender eyes.

“Si—Sirihan? Why… why. I missed you.”

“…You missed me?”

The only thing that came back to me, who had asked as if demanding an answer, was sharp mockery.

“What on earth are you saying? Why would the young lady possibly say she missed me…”

“What do you… You clearly said you would meet me!”

“I did? It seems you’ve mistaken a mere few conversations for something more.”

Sirihan spoke with a gaze full of annoyance and coldness.

“Move.”

“You clearly said you loved me…!!!”

“Is it true what they say—that you’ve gone mad?”

Sirihan said, smoothing Iliana’s tear-soaked hair.

“The only person I love is Iliana.”

He did not love me. I felt as though I had become the guest of honor at the funeral.

The moment I realized that the one he loved was not, in fact, me, I had no choice but to bolt from that place.

After running for a long while, I grabbed hold of a tree standing tall.

“Haha. What a life.”

It was so wretched I couldn’t even put it into words.

“Sirihan… loves Iliana?”

Then what of the letters we exchanged, and the ledgers I delivered to him?

The letters had long since become love letters. Words of love always followed.

I slowly plunged my face into the fountain where an angel poured out water. It was a means of pulling myself together.

It was right then.

“Dying here would hardly be the best choice.”

Unlike the emotionless voice, careful hands lifted me by the scruff of my neck.

“Even a child could not die in this place.”

Actually, I had no intention of dying.

I turned my head and found the protagonist.

It was Carlisle, looking down at me indifferently, just as I had seen him at the debutante.

“Or… are you staging some sort of protest?”

Had Carlisle seen what happened between me and Sirihan? If he had come here to mediate this whole situation in Sirihan’s stead.

“Have you come to mock me?”

“I have not come to mock you.”

“Then are you thinking of offering comfort? It doesn’t suit you, so go back. If you came because you’re worried about Lady Iliana, I won’t harm her, so…!”

Suddenly, the feelings I had been holding back burst out.

“How would the esteemed heir of a ducal house know anything about a wretched predicament?”

“…I am not ignorant of it.”

Not ignorant?

The images of people who had striven tirelessly to win his love flashed through my mind.

In my indignation, I buried my face in my knees and began to cry. My face was a mess of water and tears.

I had never thought I would cry like this in front of someone, but rather than shame, I somehow felt relieved.

Carlisle, who had stayed by my side for a long while, murmured.

“Have you finished crying?”

“…I know, hic, I know too.”

“Do you also know that you are in a difficult situation right now?”

I nodded.

“Only a fool wouldn’t know. The only way for me to resolve this situation is to leave the count’s household.”

“Leave the count’s household…”

“Yes, but the only way I can leave is to get married. Who would take me away?”

I stopped sniffling and stood up. Only now did I realize that Carlisle, too, was someone who had lost his parents.

“…Please forget what I said. I didn’t mean it.”

Carlisle gave a calm nod at my apology. As if there were no need to apologize for such a thing.

Suddenly, the events of the debutante came to mind.

“Young Master.”

“Yes, young lady.”

“That day… bumping into you was not intentional.”

Since we had already gotten as far as tears, there was no reason to be ashamed.

“Not intentional, you say?”

“Yes. Why would I take an interest in you, Young Master?”

I could not tell what part of that was funny, but Carlisle merely showed a smile instead of an answer.

“You seem quite different from Lady Jennifer.”

“Pardon?”

“It’s nothing.”

Carlisle seemed to be pondering something, then spoke to me.

“I know that you are not mad.”

“Pardon? Is this, by any chance, meant as comfort?”

“No. Those who ought to know, know. They simply do not wish to see the truth.”

I could not understand why Carlisle was saying such things to me. Even if someone thought that way, in the end there was no one who would help me.

Sirihan’s face came to mind. He too had approached me in this manner.

“If you are thinking of helping me, please don’t.”

I no longer wanted to trust anyone.

“I am not helping—I am merely thinking of a direction that would benefit us both.”

“There is nothing that would benefit you, Young Master. The moment you help me, you will be swept up in unsavory rumors.”

“That is precisely what I want.”

That is what he wants?

Wasn’t what Carlisle needed the seizure of power?

“If I could leave the count’s household safely, would you help me?”

I gave no answer at all. Carlisle did not seem to be waiting for one either. He lent me a carriage and said,

“Taking my hand will not be such a bad thing.”

\* \* \*

Sirihan, apparently intending to brazen it out even further, promptly sent a formal letter to the count’s household.

It contained a message that he would forgive me if I apologized to him in person.

“You’ve completely lost your mind.”

Jess began to throw a fit, insisting that everything I said was a lie.

“Prince Sirihan has always boasted of Lady Iliana. He never once spoke of a nobody like you!!!”

I could not refute Jess’s words.

‘…Sirihan knows I can do nothing.’

Sirihan had already seen through that my anger and sorrow were all for the sake of survival. And that the love letters we exchanged were not one-sided, either.

The love letters, the ledgers. The moment I made any of them public, there was no telling what would happen to me in the count’s household.

The moment I mentioned the ledgers, I would fall into an even greater predicament. He believed I had no ledgers. So I could not speak of their existence right now.

“I have done nothing wrong.”

“Who’s going to believe a word you say?”

The thoroughly agitated Jess grabbed me by the collar.

“Just looking at you now, I’d say everyone would believe it.”

“…Watch your mouth. Do you think killing one person like you would be difficult?”

“Isn’t this kind of threat a bit childish? And I don’t care if others don’t believe me.”

I roughly pried Jess’s hand away and said,

“The day I apologize, I will tell everyone everything that was done to me. Surely you don’t want that, too?”

Clinging to the foundation he operated was the only thing I could do. In the end, what the Wales count’s household chose was silence.

“Wouldn’t things be resolved if Duke Carlisle stepped in?”

“…Damn it! So we have to grovel to that bastard without even a shred of pride?”

“But darling, Duke Carlisle is interested in Jennifer, isn’t he?”

Knowing full well that Iliana was involved between Carlisle and me, their brazenness was simply absurd.

‘I still don’t know what Carlisle is going to do.’

With so many eyes watching, no punishment was inflicted on me.

Meanwhile, Carlisle sent word that he would help the count’s household. His condition was that the meetings with Jennifer be canceled.

In a way, it was only natural. Carlisle, too, must have felt uncomfortable continuing these meetings.

But his bizarre course of action did not end there.

“Now that things have come to this, it seems I too have nowhere to retreat.”

He looked at us and threw out a single sentence.

“Truthfully, the one I have loved from the beginning was Lady Reina.”

Carlisle was an even bigger madman than I had thought. Leaving the stunned people behind, I dragged Carlisle away.

And only after we arrived at a place where no one was around could I see his face.