Chapter 19

Hae-il trudged back to the front of the restaurant, his steps as listless as his drooping shoulders.

The company dinner seemed to be winding down already, and the entrance was fairly noisy with employees who had finished their meals and were coming outside.

Even amid the disorderly crowd, two silhouettes stood out with unusual clarity.

As though deliberately showing off, Danbi was standing extremely close to that Suhyeon guy from the Planning Team.

Why had I never once considered it?

That over ten years had passed—more than enough time for everything in the world to change—and that her feelings for him might have completely cooled.

That perhaps new warmth had already taken root in her heart.

He had been deceiving himself.

Just as he had raced breathlessly down a single path, always looking straight ahead, he had assumed that Danbi, too, would remain exactly where she was, waiting for him without changing through all the storms of time.

But apparently, all of that had been one enormous misunderstanding.

During all those years, she had looked ahead, looked to the side, and even carefully tended to the tiny wildflowers blooming at her feet, cultivating a garden of her own.

And so many new memories had blossomed there that perhaps those old, faded memories with him were no longer particularly special to her.

“I liked you once, a very long time ago. It was just for a brief moment, when I was young and immature. You were the only friend I had back then.”

Her casual, feather-light voice kept echoing inside Hae-il’s head like a broken gramophone, cruelly scraping against his nerves.

Then what were those looks you gave me? What was that expression?

What were those overwhelming emotions that seemed to contain all the love in the world?

What kind of love is that?

So light and insignificant that you can just toss it aside like nothing?

If you can dismiss it so easily, then what does that make me—the person who was dragged all the way here by that supposedly insignificant memory?

“You’re screwed, basically.”

As though answering his desperate question, the voices of his team members pierced sharply through the air.

“Not just screwed. Completely fucking screwed.”

“Ugh, what a shitty project. I just wanted to quietly bury it and forget it existed.”

“I’d completely forgotten about it, but the team leader just had to dig it up again.”

“Getting struck by lightning out of a clear sky would be less ridiculous. How many days of overtime does this guarantee us?”

“If the user is a little inconvenienced, the developers can be comfortable…….”

Every one of their voices felt like a sharp poisoned arrow fired directly at him.

Especially now, after confirming that even Danbi had no feelings for him.

His empty gaze shifted toward Suhyeon and Danbi, who were standing a little apart from the team members and chatting affectionately, as though they had created an invisible room meant only for the two of them.

“Ms. Danbi, do you really live there? It’s only five minutes from my house. That’s crazy.”

“Really? Wow, then we’re practically neighbors. That’s amazing.”

“Then take a taxi with me. It’s late, and it’s dangerous.”

“No, I have my bicycle…….”

“Come on. You can ride your bike tomorrow morning. It’d be perfect if we took a taxi together and you got out somewhere along the way.”

Anyone could see that this sounded like a conversation between a man and woman who were attracted to each other.

And still, Danbi’s gaze never once reached Hae-il.

“Hey, you’re back? We were waiting for you…… Team Leader…….”

The murmuring around him seemed to fade into the distance.

Hae-il’s feet were already moving mechanically toward them, stripped of reason.

Danbi’s figure gradually drew closer.

His mind was filled with only one unbearable impulse.

I want Danbi to focus only on me.

I want those clear eyes to contain no other bastard but me.

“Ah, then I guess we can…….”

Before Danbi could finish her sentence, Hae-il grabbed her wrist firmly.

Only then did Danbi’s startled eyes finally turn toward him.

Once, her gaze had clung to him so intensely that he could practically feel the back of his head burning.

Now, he had to resort to physically grabbing her just to receive that gaze.

And even then, it contained nothing but bewilderment and discomfort—not affection or excitement.

But he couldn’t help it.

There was no way in hell he could simply stand by and watch her laugh with another man and head home with him.

All eyes around them immediately focused on the situation, and a chilly silence descended.

But Hae-il only tightened his grip around her wrist.

He couldn’t let go.

Absolutely not.

“Team Leader…….”

You’re going home with that drunk bastard?

Are you out of your mind?

Are you going to sleep with him tonight?

I’m standing right here in front of you, and you’re going to do the same things from my dream with another man?

Disgusting images twisted his stomach.

Ugly, pathetic, vile thoughts that he couldn’t bring himself to say aloud churned inside his head.

Hae-il stared directly at Danbi with eyes shaking as though an earthquake were running through him.

With difficulty, he forced his voice out.

“I…….”

“……Yes?”

“I…… I’ll take you home.”

The moment he said it, the world before his eyes began spinning violently.

The alcohol that had built up beyond his control finally snapped the last thread of his remaining reason, and all the strength drained from his muscles.

His knees buckled first.

With a dull thud, Hae-il collapsed onto the ground.

Even as the world around him began to fade, his hand instinctively refused to release Danbi’s wrist.

“I…… I’ll take you hoooome…….”

That was Hae-il’s last memory.

“Oh no, Team Leader must be really drunk.”

“Goodness, I thought he was drinking way too quickly earlier.”

“Tsk, tsk. Why would someone so young drink like that…… Ahem…….”

“Someone call a taxi! Quickly!”

Even amid the distant noise, only one voice reached his ears with perfect clarity.

“Team Leader…… Are you okay? Open your eyes. Ha…… This is driving me crazy.”

His eyelids were impossibly heavy, as though they weighed a thousand pounds and could never be opened.

But at least at that moment, it felt as though all of Danbi’s attention, all of her concern, was focused entirely on him.

Yeah.

This is enough.

With the faintest trace of satisfaction at the corners of his lips, Hae-il slipped into an endless darkness.

✶ ✶ ✶

The next morning, Hae-il opened his eyes in the bed in his room.

He woke with a vicious headache that felt as though someone were driving an awl straight through his brain.

The moment he groaned and pressed a hand against his forehead, the memories of the previous night invaded his mind without warning, like the lingering remnants of a terrible nightmare.

“Oh, and this is really just me being overly cautious, but I don’t have any feelings for you anymore. So you don’t need to worry about anything like that.”

“I’m saying this because I thought you might be worried that I still liked you.”

The words he had desperately wished were only a nightmare came back with horrifying clarity.

It felt as though he had wandered through a sweet dream for a long time, only to suddenly be grabbed by the collar and thrown straight into the middle of a merciless reality.

A world in which Danbi—the Danbi who had once looked at him as though he were her entire world—no longer liked Han Hae-il even a little.

He couldn’t adjust to it.

He wanted to close his eyes again and sink beyond consciousness.

Then, like a strip of film that hadn’t fully dried, another fragment of memory came wavering into his mind.

“Earlier…… Are you close to that guy?”

“I…… I’ll take you hoooome…….”

What the hell is this awful memory?

The image of himself clutching Danbi’s wrist, desperately clinging to her with a tongue twisted by alcohol, was burned into his mind like a still photograph.

It looked as though he had been pathetically clinging to her because he couldn’t bear to lose her.

As though he had been unable to forget or stop longing for her even for a moment, had come all the way from distant America using every means available to chase after her, only to end up looking utterly pathetic in front of a woman who had no interest in him whatsoever.

A scorching heat rushed through his body as though all his blood had reversed course and surged into his face.

Overwhelming shame engulfed him.

Unable to raise his head, he buried his face deep into his pillow and rolled around on the bed for a long time.

But the more he struggled, the sharper the memories became.

And the shame continued to swell uncontrollably until it consumed his heart.

How could you do this to me, Lee Danbi?

He screamed silently inside.

The Danbi he knew had never been like this.

She had always been flustered and blushed whenever she stood in front of him.

She had been delighted by even a single word from him, as though she had gained the entire world.

She had always looked only at him.

But last night, she had been so cold.

So firm.

And even…… she had seemed a little bothered by him.

Hae-il forced himself upright despite the pain crushing his chest.

Worse than the splitting headache was the inexplicable sense of loss and betrayal lodged like a heavy stone beneath his chest.

He couldn’t understand it.

He couldn’t accept that the shining memories he had cherished so carefully all these years had meant nothing more to her than a fleeting incident from an immature childhood.

He staggered toward the bathroom.

His reflection in the mirror looked absolutely miserable.

Sunken eyes.

Dry, lifeless skin.

And above all, an empty gaze that seemed to stare into a bottomless abyss.

Han Hae-il was not shining because Lee Danbi no longer loved him.

He splashed cold water onto his face and desperately tried to pull himself together, but Danbi’s cold voice and indifferent expression from the previous night clung to his consciousness like a curse.

“I really don’t have any feelings for you anymore. Not even the tiniest bit.”

Those words wrapped around his throat like a noose around the neck of a condemned man.

Hae-il sank helplessly onto the cold tiled floor and stared blankly into empty space for a long time.

A miserable despair swept over him—the feeling that the solid world he had painstakingly built throughout his life had collapsed like a sandcastle in an instant.

“Ah, this is so fucking annoying…… Lee Danbi…… Lee Danbi……”