TYHL 192

~Chapter 192~

“Wow, you’re huge. I never realized just how big you are,”
Rubian murmured, eyeing the jacket that hung loosely off her shoulders.

“Feels like I’m wearing Dad’s. So, why are you here?”

She settled onto the oversized sofa as she asked. Khalid pulled over a blanket, wrapped her up, and finally let himself breathe.

“I figured you wouldn’t be asleep yet.”

“Oh… I’m busy.”

Rubian glanced over at the table.
It was piled with formulas and books, scattered everywhere—she clearly had no plans to sleep anytime soon.

When did this start?
When did she start spending these long nights alone, like this?

The thought made Khalid’s chest ache.

“That’s why you keep getting nosebleeds.”

“It’s not that, I’m really just busy…”

“What’s working you so hard?”

Khalid waited patiently.
Rubian fidgeted with her fingers, hesitated for a long time, and finally spoke up.

“Actually, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Okay.”

He suddenly wanted to kneel down in front of her, to take her hands.

“So… I don’t know if you heard, but Sir Delmon passed away. Remember him? The guy you sparred with during the entrance test…”

“Yeah.”

“After someone dies, it makes you anxious, you know?”

Rubian tried to sound brave.

“The Magic Kingdom is on the move, and I want to gather all the tombstone formulas and defeat the Magic King as soon as possible—but it’s just not working out…”

Why am I so slow, so clumsy? she wondered, her voice bitter with self-doubt.

“If the formula you brought isn’t the answer, I’m thinking of going to the memorial in Jelrox. And if that’s a dead end, I’ll just have to start over. I don’t know if I can do it, but it’s better than sitting on my hands…”

“Hold on, Rubian.”

Khalid cut in. Rubian frowned.

“What? I’m talking here.”

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m not—”

But as soon as she blinked, a tear fell.

She fumbled at her cheek with a pale hand.

“Huh?”

Khalid couldn’t stand it anymore. He knelt down in front of her, right at the sofa.

“What are you so worried about?”

Rubian went quiet for a long time.

“You know, Khalid…”
Her voice was raw and shaky.

“I went to the funeral.”

“I know. I heard.”

“The sarcophagus was so cold and huge. Sir Delmon was lying inside… and seeing him, I couldn’t breathe.”

Leviathan had made sure the coffin was packed with magical preservation devices, following Bamilon’s traditional rites to keep the body intact for as long as possible.

But still—

“A corpse is… still a corpse. There’s no such thing as someone looking like they’re just sleeping. It was like a wax doll of someone I used to know. It felt so strange and terrifying…”

She looked up, tears streaming down her face.

“What if that happens to Dad?”

“Rubian.”

“What if it’s Mom lying there? Or you? Or my brothers, or Grandpa…?”

“Breathe, Rubian.”

“What if it’s because of me?”

She scrubbed at her face with both hands, wiping away the tears that kept spilling out.

“What if Dad’s just suffering here because he followed me, going through all this trouble to protect me…?”

All the fear she’d been stacking up burst at once.
She poured her heart out, sobbing.

Khalid could only gently gather her into his arms.

“Maybe it’d be easier if I just went to the Magic King myself. If I did, maybe Sir Delmon wouldn’t have died…”

All the guilt she’d been hiding finally surfaced.

“I can’t tell Mom and Dad. They’d just worry even more… But Khalid…”

“Rubian.”

“I’m scared. I used to be scared because I had nothing to hold on to—now, I have too much, and it terrifies me.”

Her small, trembling body kept shaking with sobs as Khalid quietly patted her back.

Who knows how long they stayed like that.

“All done crying?”
Khalid offered her a handkerchief.
Rubian blew her nose and wiped her face with it.

“Yeah. I feel better now.”

Her eyes and nose were bright red.

Khalid looked at her with concern and handed her a glass of water.

“So…”

He waited for her to drink, then took the empty glass.

“Do you want feedback on every sentence?”

“What are you, my red-pen teacher?”

She paused, considering.

“…No.”

She blew her nose again, strong and loud.

“I know, deep down, it’s not really my fault.”

She’d just never had a chance to let all those dark, tangled feelings out.

Now that she had, she felt lighter. Like her tears had washed some of it away.

“Even if I wasn’t here, Dad would have stood up to the Magic Kingdom over the child soldier issue anyway. The result would’ve been the same.”

This whole mess with the Magic Kingdom—it wasn’t all on Rubian.

“Yeah.”

Khalid gently brushed her hair out of her face.

“Things happened the way they were meant to. None of this is your fault.”

“Mm…”

“I’m sorry about Sir Delmon, but it wasn’t because of you. He died saving people, because that’s who he was. Blaming yourself would probably just insult his memory.”

“You’re right.”

Rubian took a deep breath.

Before she knew it, they’d drifted closer together. She gave a short laugh and leaned away.

“Saying it out loud helped. I’ve felt so stuck, like there was a weight on my chest.”

She rubbed at her sternum with a little grin.

“Thanks, Khalid.”

Her voice was small. Khalid managed a soft smile, then suddenly turned serious, almost scolding.

“So, you’re actually going to sleep now, right? None of this is your fault. There’s no reason to keep punishing yourself.”

“…Yeah. I’m wiped out from all the crying, anyway.”

Her smile made Khalid’s mouth go dry for some reason.
She stood, started tidying up her desk.

As she moved away, Khalid looked down at his empty hands.

‘Come to think of it…
That’s the first time we’ve touched when it wasn’t about magic.’

And suddenly, all those little sensations came rushing in.

‘She’s warm.’

Soft, and—now that he thought about it—she even smelled a little sweet.

He unconsciously licked his lips, watching her as she bustled around the fireplace.

The flames flickered low.

He felt like he’d swallowed those flames.

‘Maybe… just a little more…’

Couldn’t he reach for something more than just her hand?

Suddenly, he jumped up.

“I—I’m going. Now.”

“What? Hey! Your coat—!”

The door snapped shut behind him, cutting off Rubian’s voice.

“God, what am I doing…”

He pressed his forehead to the door, breathing hard.

Outside, the air was icy—but his whole body was burning up.

—

The next evening.

On the festival’s final night, there was going to be a magical fireworks display.

Dad gave me permission to go watch with Khalid! Yes!

‘Dad looked exhausted from dealing with the king… Poor thing. I’ll hang out with him later.’

As we walked through the crowded streets, the first fireworks started bursting in the sky.

“Fireworks!”

People rushed toward the square, and for a moment, I nearly got swept away—
but Khalid pulled me close, shielding me.

“It’s crowded. Be careful.”

His shadow wrapped around me, his hand gently pulling me in. For a second, I couldn’t breathe.

‘Just like last night…’

He’d held me just like this.

Thump, thump, thump.
That frantic sound—
It was my heart.

‘Last night, I finally slept well.’

Maybe it wasn’t such a big deal, but that anxiety had been gnawing at me.
Letting it all out in front of Khalid, I felt a little lighter.

Maybe I really did just need a chance to fall apart a little.

“Want to head to the square?”

Khalid’s voice was soft and lazy. I looked up into his eyes and nodded, like I was under a spell.

“There’s so many people.”

“It’s the last night. Guess that’s why.”

“Wow…”

We drifted through the crowd side by side.
After a while, I found myself nibbling my bottom lip.

‘Our hands…’

Why did it feel like they kept brushing?

Just as I was about to wiggle my fingers—

“Rubian, your magic.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t you need a boost?”

His voice was a little hoarse.

‘I got magic from him last night…’
But honestly, I didn’t want to say that. Actually, maybe I really was feeling a little tired in this big crowd.

“I—”

“You need it.”

Before I could finish, he grabbed my hand.

‘Wait… I don’t feel anything?’

A moment later, that familiar, soft blue magic started to seep in.
Maybe it just took a second to kick in.

“Don’t say you don’t need it.”

“I was literally about to say I needed it.”

“Oh…”

Khalid looked genuinely embarrassed for once.

“I thought…”

He turned away, the tips of his ears bright red.
I grinned, relaxing my shoulders.

‘Even his neck is all red.’

Boom! Boom!

Maybe it was the fireworks, but—

‘He looks like if I bit him, strawberry juice would come out.’

I giggled to myself.

And then I froze.

“You know, your mom once said… She wanted to bite your dad.”

Why am I suddenly remembering Mom’s voice… right now?

“‘She went ‘rawr!’ And that’s when she realized it was love.’”

~Chapter 192~

“Wow, you’re huge. I never realized just how big you are,”
Rubian murmured, eyeing the jacket that hung loosely off her shoulders.

“Feels like I’m wearing Dad’s. So, why are you here?”

She settled onto the oversized sofa as she asked. Khalid pulled over a blanket, wrapped her up, and finally let himself breathe.

“I figured you wouldn’t be asleep yet.”

“Oh… I’m busy.”

Rubian glanced over at the table.
It was piled with formulas and books, scattered everywhere—she clearly had no plans to sleep anytime soon.

When did this start?
When did she start spending these long nights alone, like this?

The thought made Khalid’s chest ache.

“That’s why you keep getting nosebleeds.”

“It’s not that, I’m really just busy…”

“What’s working you so hard?”

Khalid waited patiently.
Rubian fidgeted with her fingers, hesitated for a long time, and finally spoke up.

“Actually, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Okay.”

He suddenly wanted to kneel down in front of her, to take her hands.

“So… I don’t know if you heard, but Sir Delmon passed away. Remember him? The guy you sparred with during the entrance test…”

“Yeah.”

“After someone dies, it makes you anxious, you know?”

Rubian tried to sound brave.

“The Magic Kingdom is on the move, and I want to gather all the tombstone formulas and defeat the Magic King as soon as possible—but it’s just not working out…”

Why am I so slow, so clumsy? she wondered, her voice bitter with self-doubt.

“If the formula you brought isn’t the answer, I’m thinking of going to the memorial in Jelrox. And if that’s a dead end, I’ll just have to start over. I don’t know if I can do it, but it’s better than sitting on my hands…”

“Hold on, Rubian.”

Khalid cut in. Rubian frowned.

“What? I’m talking here.”

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m not—”

But as soon as she blinked, a tear fell.

She fumbled at her cheek with a pale hand.

“Huh?”

Khalid couldn’t stand it anymore. He knelt down in front of her, right at the sofa.

“What are you so worried about?”

Rubian went quiet for a long time.

“You know, Khalid…”
Her voice was raw and shaky.

“I went to the funeral.”

“I know. I heard.”

“The sarcophagus was so cold and huge. Sir Delmon was lying inside… and seeing him, I couldn’t breathe.”

Leviathan had made sure the coffin was packed with magical preservation devices, following Bamilon’s traditional rites to keep the body intact for as long as possible.

But still—

“A corpse is… still a corpse. There’s no such thing as someone looking like they’re just sleeping. It was like a wax doll of someone I used to know. It felt so strange and terrifying…”

She looked up, tears streaming down her face.

“What if that happens to Dad?”

“Rubian.”

“What if it’s Mom lying there? Or you? Or my brothers, or Grandpa…?”

“Breathe, Rubian.”

“What if it’s because of me?”

She scrubbed at her face with both hands, wiping away the tears that kept spilling out.

“What if Dad’s just suffering here because he followed me, going through all this trouble to protect me…?”

All the fear she’d been stacking up burst at once.
She poured her heart out, sobbing.

Khalid could only gently gather her into his arms.

“Maybe it’d be easier if I just went to the Magic King myself. If I did, maybe Sir Delmon wouldn’t have died…”

All the guilt she’d been hiding finally surfaced.

“I can’t tell Mom and Dad. They’d just worry even more… But Khalid…”

“Rubian.”

“I’m scared. I used to be scared because I had nothing to hold on to—now, I have too much, and it terrifies me.”

Her small, trembling body kept shaking with sobs as Khalid quietly patted her back.

Who knows how long they stayed like that.

“All done crying?”
Khalid offered her a handkerchief.
Rubian blew her nose and wiped her face with it.

“Yeah. I feel better now.”

Her eyes and nose were bright red.

Khalid looked at her with concern and handed her a glass of water.

“So…”

He waited for her to drink, then took the empty glass.

“Do you want feedback on every sentence?”

“What are you, my red-pen teacher?”

She paused, considering.

“…No.”

She blew her nose again, strong and loud.

“I know, deep down, it’s not really my fault.”

She’d just never had a chance to let all those dark, tangled feelings out.

Now that she had, she felt lighter. Like her tears had washed some of it away.

“Even if I wasn’t here, Dad would have stood up to the Magic Kingdom over the child soldier issue anyway. The result would’ve been the same.”

This whole mess with the Magic Kingdom—it wasn’t all on Rubian.

“Yeah.”

Khalid gently brushed her hair out of her face.

“Things happened the way they were meant to. None of this is your fault.”

“Mm…”

“I’m sorry about Sir Delmon, but it wasn’t because of you. He died saving people, because that’s who he was. Blaming yourself would probably just insult his memory.”

“You’re right.”

Rubian took a deep breath.

Before she knew it, they’d drifted closer together. She gave a short laugh and leaned away.

“Saying it out loud helped. I’ve felt so stuck, like there was a weight on my chest.”

She rubbed at her sternum with a little grin.

“Thanks, Khalid.”

Her voice was small. Khalid managed a soft smile, then suddenly turned serious, almost scolding.

“So, you’re actually going to sleep now, right? None of this is your fault. There’s no reason to keep punishing yourself.”

“…Yeah. I’m wiped out from all the crying, anyway.”

Her smile made Khalid’s mouth go dry for some reason.
She stood, started tidying up her desk.

As she moved away, Khalid looked down at his empty hands.

‘Come to think of it…
That’s the first time we’ve touched when it wasn’t about magic.’

And suddenly, all those little sensations came rushing in.

‘She’s warm.’

Soft, and—now that he thought about it—she even smelled a little sweet.

He unconsciously licked his lips, watching her as she bustled around the fireplace.

The flames flickered low.

He felt like he’d swallowed those flames.

‘Maybe… just a little more…’

Couldn’t he reach for something more than just her hand?

Suddenly, he jumped up.

“I—I’m going. Now.”

“What? Hey! Your coat—!”

The door snapped shut behind him, cutting off Rubian’s voice.

“God, what am I doing…”

He pressed his forehead to the door, breathing hard.

Outside, the air was icy—but his whole body was burning up.

—

The next evening.

On the festival’s final night, there was going to be a magical fireworks display.

Dad gave me permission to go watch with Khalid! Yes!

‘Dad looked exhausted from dealing with the king… Poor thing. I’ll hang out with him later.’

As we walked through the crowded streets, the first fireworks started bursting in the sky.

“Fireworks!”

People rushed toward the square, and for a moment, I nearly got swept away—
but Khalid pulled me close, shielding me.

“It’s crowded. Be careful.”

His shadow wrapped around me, his hand gently pulling me in. For a second, I couldn’t breathe.

‘Just like last night…’

He’d held me just like this.

Thump, thump, thump.
That frantic sound—
It was my heart.

‘Last night, I finally slept well.’

Maybe it wasn’t such a big deal, but that anxiety had been gnawing at me.
Letting it all out in front of Khalid, I felt a little lighter.

Maybe I really did just need a chance to fall apart a little.

“Want to head to the square?”

Khalid’s voice was soft and lazy. I looked up into his eyes and nodded, like I was under a spell.

“There’s so many people.”

“It’s the last night. Guess that’s why.”

“Wow…”

We drifted through the crowd side by side.
After a while, I found myself nibbling my bottom lip.

‘Our hands…’

Why did it feel like they kept brushing?

Just as I was about to wiggle my fingers—

“Rubian, your magic.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t you need a boost?”

His voice was a little hoarse.

‘I got magic from him last night…’
But honestly, I didn’t want to say that. Actually, maybe I really was feeling a little tired in this big crowd.

“I—”

“You need it.”

Before I could finish, he grabbed my hand.

‘Wait… I don’t feel anything?’

A moment later, that familiar, soft blue magic started to seep in.
Maybe it just took a second to kick in.

“Don’t say you don’t need it.”

“I was literally about to say I needed it.”

“Oh…”

Khalid looked genuinely embarrassed for once.

“I thought…”

He turned away, the tips of his ears bright red.
I grinned, relaxing my shoulders.

‘Even his neck is all red.’

Boom! Boom!

Maybe it was the fireworks, but—

‘He looks like if I bit him, strawberry juice would come out.’

I giggled to myself.

And then I froze.

“You know, your mom once said… She wanted to bite your dad.”

Why am I suddenly remembering Mom’s voice… right now?

“‘She went ‘rawr!’ And that’s when she realized it was love.’”