TLR 17

Chapter 17 …

“Why are you taking those back? Do you expect me to eat with my hands?”

“You can get your own utensils, Junhyuk-ssi.”

“Drop the last name. Just call me Junhyuk.”

Junhyuk pulled the flatware and small plate back toward himself, adding, “Giving someone something and taking it right back is the quickest way to piss them off.”

“…So what am I supposed to do, then?”

“Just don’t do it in the first place. You don’t gain anything from doing it anyway.”

Lee Seol wanted to snap back and ask why he was being so defensive, but since he wasn’t exactly wrong, she shut her mouth.

It was just a deeply ingrained habit. Being the youngest, she’d been stuck doing all the tedious chores and running errands around the house for as long as she could remember.

She’d finally stopped being the youngest in middle school, but things didn’t get any easier—if anything, her workload only grew.

“Why the long face?”

“It’s nothing… So, Junhyuk-ssi, you must have a lot of friends, right? You seem like the type.”

“I don’t have a single one.”

She had brought it up casually just to break the ice, but it felt like she’d stepped right on a landmine. Her eyes automatically drooped.

Junhyuk shrugged it off like it was no big deal. “I’m just not much of a people person.”

“Ah, I see. Do you like animals, then? Do you have a cat or a dog?”

“Not big on animals, either.”

His tone was brutally firm. Seol stared at him for a beat before asking, “Then what do you usually do in your free time?”

“Play video games, read, work out. That’s about it.”

“That’s surprisingly normal.”

“Why? Did you think I sat in a pitch-black room with a map laid out, plotting where to set my next fire just because I don’t have friends?”

Seol tilted her head slightly—a purely physical reaction to having no idea how to respond.

“Here are your draft beers and soju!”

“Ah, the drinks are here.”

Seol quickly popped the cap off the soju bottle and pushed a glass of beer toward Junhyuk.

“Clink glasses with me. Since it’s our first drink.”

Junhyuk let out a dry chuckle and picked up his glass. “Do you like drinking?”

“Not really.”

“What’s your tolerance?”

“Hmm, not that high. Maybe a bottle of soju.”

“Isn’t that pretty high?”

“Well, my parents and my older sister can all drink a lot, so…”

She cut herself off. Junhyuk raised a single eyebrow, silently asking her to go on.

“…I just heard a lot growing up that my limit wasn’t anything special.”

“Ah, a curve grade.”

Junhyuk finished his thought and raised the glass to his lips.

Seol forced a stiff smile onto her face.

Seeing that he wasn’t prying any further, it seemed he didn’t remember her offhand comment from before about having a younger sibling.

By the time the food arrived, they ordered two more draft beers. Time had flown, and the once-quiet pub was now buzzing with noise.

Seol stared blankly at the table. Since it had been a while since her last drink and she was drinking on an empty stomach, the alcohol hit her fast.

“I thought you said you had a younger sibling.”

“Huh?”

His sudden remark snapped Seol back to reality, and she looked up.

“Back at the restaurant. But now you’re saying you have an older sister, too.”

“Ah…”

“Was that the lie you told me about your family?”

“…Yes.”

“Why did you leave your sister out?”

“…”

Silence stretched between them until the fresh round of beer arrived.

Seol watched Junhyuk pick up a glass and set it in front of her first. Only then did she speak up, her voice low.

“My sister died recently.”

“I see.”

His voice was dry, completely stripped of emotion.

Seol dropped her head and gripped the handle of her glass.

“I didn’t say she didn’t exist just because she’s dead. I just… haven’t really processed my feelings yet.”

“I see.”

“Yeah. It still doesn’t feel real that she’s gone…”

And it didn’t feel real that her sister had done such a thing, either. The altered life forced upon her by that incident felt real enough, but she still hadn’t adapted to it.

“Why did you fight with your mom?”

She had been terrified of what to say if he asked how her sister died, but luckily, he shifted the topic.

Seol raised her head, her face brightening just a fraction.

“…”

Then she froze again.

How could she possibly tell a stranger that she’d fought with her mother—who had drowned herself in alcohol over her dead daughter—and that her mother had cried, told her she wasn’t her child, and demanded to know why she was the one who survived?

“You can lie if you want. I’m listening either way.”

Junhyuk brought his glass close and tapped it against hers.

Seol took a deep breath and chugged her beer until the carbonation made her throat burn.

When she slammed the half-empty glass back onto the table with a burst of bravado, Junhyuk let out a soft laugh.

Seol poured soju directly into the newly cleared space in her glass. Watching the relentless stream of bubbles popping at the surface, she gathered her thoughts before looking back up.

“They say every finger hurts when you bite it, but some hurt more than others.”

“Well, we’re only human. Anyone who hands out equal affection to everyone would have to be God.”

That wasn’t the reaction she was looking for at all. Seol gave Junhyuk a sharp glare.

“Why are you staring at me like I killed your parents? You’re making my heart flutter.”

“You are terribly bad at comforting people.”

“I don’t recall offering comfort. I just said I’d listen.”

“I… guess you’re right.”

It was embarrassing that she’d automatically expected him to offer sympathy. Her voice trailed off as she admitted defeat.

“Since I’m the one who asked you out for drinks, I’ll at least play along.”

Junhyuk clinked his glass against hers again.

Seol downed her drink, matching him glass for glass. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and, emboldened by the noisy tavern around them, raised her voice.

“Even if that’s just human nature, you shouldn’t make it so obvious! Every child should matter!”

“Right. You’re completely right.”

“The oldest gets special treatment because she’s the firstborn! The youngest gets special treatment because he’s the son!”

“Oh, boy.”

“As a mother, there are things you should and shouldn’t say! No matter how… no matter how…”

The tension drained from Seol’s shoulders, which had been raised in anger.

She wanted to believe her mother didn’t truly mean it. She told herself her mother was just heartbroken over the child she lost, that she was drunk and out of her mind, blurting out whatever crossed her lips.

Yet she also knew it wasn’t a total lie.

Why are you the one here beside me when I’m this miserable?

Those words hadn’t been a lie. She had never been her mother’s favorite child.

“No matter how… what?”

Even with the alcohol buzzing through her, she couldn’t bring herself to say the rest out loud. Seol muttered in a subdued voice, “It’s just… unrequited love is exhausting.”

“That doesn’t sound like something you should say in front of a guy you just rejected.”

“You see… my sister was really pretty.”

“Your story’s losing its train of thought. You’re drunk.”

“Yeah, I am.”

Seol nodded repeatedly and let out a silly giggle.

It was hilarious to think she was opening up about things she’d never told anyone in her life to a man she barely knew.

Would she have been able to say any of this if she’d met up with her friends today instead?

The sudden thought wiped the smile right off her face. The answer was a clear no.

So why was she opening up to him? Shocked by her own realization, Seol lowered her gaze.

Listening to someone drag on about their depressing baggage wasn’t easy for anyone. Was she taking his goodwill hostage, forcing him to share in her messy, ugly emotions?

Just like Donghee was doing to her.

Seol looked up. She needed to apologize before she got any drunker.

Junhyuk’s glass was empty—when had he finished it? He was sitting there in total silence, watching her.

She couldn’t read the emotion behind those deep, dark eyes. All she knew was that no one had ever looked at her quite like that before.

Forgetting her intended apology altogether, Seol just blinked at him blankly.

Junhyuk parted his lips as if to say something. The movement felt strangely slow, a sure sign that the alcohol had completely taken over her senses.

“You’re easily a million times prettier.”

“…What?”

“I said you’re way prettier than your sister. It’s not even a fair comparison.”

“You’ve never even seen my sister.”

“Even if I had…”

Junhyuk let out a breath that sounded almost like a sigh and pressed the call button on the table.

“My mind wouldn’t change.”

“…”

“One more round?”

“…Okay.”

Seol gave a quiet response and drained the rest of her glass.

Even if it was just an empty compliment, it didn’t hurt to hear. Growing up, praise had always been reserved exclusively for her sister.

Stepping out of the building, Junhyuk shoved his hands into his pants pockets.

Seol had mentioned needing to use the restroom before coming out. He reached for the pack of cigarettes he’d bought earlier, then hesitated—there was no point in smelling like smoke when they were about to part ways.

She had seemed deeply down earlier, but her mood seemed to lift once the alcohol hit.

When he’d told her to order more food, she hadn’t hesitated to pick the honey toast, and watching her devour that massive portion single-handedly had actually caught him off guard.

Junhyuk’s brow furrowed slightly as he fumbled with the cigarette pack inside his pocket.

She hadn’t gone into the details, but it was obvious her mother was the one at fault for the fight, not Seol.

“If you were mine, I’d carry you on my back every day.”

Just as he muttered the sour thought to himself, a loud clatter echoed from inside the building.