ST 10

Chapter 10

Deciding to say “I like you” and actually saying it were completely different matters.

The next morning.

Having arrived at the classroom a little earlier than usual, I was slumped over my desk, already letting out my third sigh.

I’ll say it today.

That was my resolve the moment I opened my eyes.

Yesterday, I had been confident.

Lying in bed thinking only of Bae Do-hoon, I’d thought—if I like him this much, what was there to agonize over?

If you like someone, you just tell them you like them.

But the moment I actually saw his face, things changed.

The back door opened, and a moment later the chair beside me was pulled back.

“Good morning.”

He greeted me as usual.

This time it wasn’t me first—he greeted me first. Just that alone was significant progress.

“Yeah, good morning.”

I glanced to the side.

He was taking books out of his bag.

Sunlight came through the window and settled on the bridge of his straight nose. The image of him from yesterday—walking me home with his shoulders soaked—overlapped with the present.

“You know, I…….”

Do-hoon lifted his head. Our eyes met.

“…….”

“What.”

“……Do you have a mechanical pencil?”

“What’s that in your hand, then.”

I looked down. In my right hand, a mechanical pencil was held up as if on display.

“Oh, right!”

He looked at me like I was strange. I quietly turned my head away.

First attempt, failed.

The second was during lunch.

“Do-hoon! Do you have time after lunch today? I have something to tell you.”

“Tell me now.”

“Not now. There are too many people.”

Do-hoon looked around. At most, two or three people were passing through the hallway.

“There’s no one.”

“There are, anyway.”

I fled just like that.

The third attempt was after the last class ended. This time, I couldn’t even bring myself to speak.

I blankly watched Bae Do-hoon’s back as he headed to the pool, and in the end, I kept my mouth shut.

“You’re weird today.”

He was the one who called out to me first. He’d noticed me hesitating all day.

“What—what’s weird about me?”

“Everything, just.”

I bit my lip for no reason.

“What is it you want to say.”

“I’ll tell you later.”

“So what is it.”

“Ah, I said I’ll tell you later!”

In the end, I ended up snapping at him.

I turned around just like that. I thought I heard something like a sigh behind me.

Eventually, late afternoon when all regular classes had ended.

Only the sound of water being cut echoed rhythmically through the pool.

I sat on the bench, looking at the innermost lane.

Bae Do-hoon always stayed until the latest, practicing. His long-extended arms cut through the water, and his body slid smoothly underwater.

He was like that on the day we first met, too.

I’d been so distracted watching him that I fell into the water, and the one who saved me was also Bae Do-hoon.

Thinking about it, it was a mess from the very start.

Falling for some kid whose name I didn’t even know, falling into the water, and then demanding to know his name out of nowhere.

Finding out we were in the same class and liking him, following him to the pool every day. And then, at the single words “I have a girlfriend,” acting like my whole world had crumbled.

And now I was about to confess.

That’s when he touched the wall one last time.

Do-hoon climbed out of the water and took off his swim cap.

He pushed back his wet hair, then reached for a towel and spotted me.

“……What, you’re still here?”

“I waited for you.”

Do-hoon’s hand paused for a moment.

“You said you had something to tell me.”

There was nowhere to run now.

I slowly walked toward him. The closer I got, the harder my heart pounded.

But once I was right in front of him, the words wouldn’t come out.

“What is it.”

“…….”

“Yun-seul.”

“Wait. Let me prepare myself.”

I took a deep breath.

It’s no big deal.

What’s the big deal about saying I like someone? I’d already made it obvious enough.

I clenched both fists and squeezed my eyes shut.

“I think I like you.”

After saying it, it was more anticlimactic than I’d expected.

“I like you.”

I opened my eyes and looked straight at you.

“I like you, Bae Do-hoon.”

It was a relief. My heart was pounding, but I wasn’t scared.

Maybe it was because, without realizing it, I’d been expecting something to some degree.

The way he’d asked why I wasn’t coming to the pool first when I stopped following him around.

The way he’d gone stone-faced when the other kids teased me and laughed.

The way he’d tilted the umbrella toward me even while getting drenched in the pouring rain.

I didn’t think I was the only one who’d read meaning into all those moments.

The hope that maybe you liked me just a little bit too. Perhaps something close to certainty was inside me.

So I waited for Do-hoon’s answer.

But then.

“……Sorry.”

My heart dropped with a thud.

“I don’t feel that way.”

The answer was so short it was even crueler.

Of course, before I’d said I liked him, I had considered the possibility of this outcome.

But actually hearing him say he didn’t like me, I realized I was completely unprepared.

“Then when I stopped following you around, why did you ask why I wasn’t coming to the pool?”

“…….”

“Why did you stop the seniors when they were teasing me?”

The more I asked, the quieter Do-hoon became.

“I.”

My voice trembled slightly at the end.

“I thought that meant you liked me at least a little.”

At my weakened voice, Bae Do-hoon’s hand moved. It looked like he was about to grab me, but that hand never came up.

Do-hoon clenched his fist.

“Sorry.”

What came back was another apology. This time, I didn’t want to hear any more.

“I got it.”

I nodded.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. I was the one who misunderstood on my own.”

I forced a smile as if nothing were wrong.

“Don’t worry. I’ll sort out my feelings on my own.”

When our eyes met, his eyes wavered for the first time.

But I didn’t have the luxury of seeing that. I just wanted to get out of there quickly.

“Seul-a.”

That’s when a voice came from behind me.

My steps almost stopped.

It was the first time.

Not Yun-seul. Not “hey.”

But I didn’t turn around.

If I turned around now, I felt like I’d really cry.

I didn’t want to go to school.

It was the first time since coming down to Cheonghae.

Still, I couldn’t actually skip.

I entered the classroom at the usual time.

And as usual, Bae Do-hoon was in the seat beside me.

“…….”

“…….”

We didn’t greet each other.

Bae Do-hoon was the same.

I quietly set down my bag.

Normally, I would have chattered a few pointless words before first period even started, but today I said nothing to him.

He didn’t call out to me either. That was more hurtful than yesterday’s answer.

I guess it really was nothing.

I guess we were the kind of relationship that ended this easily if I didn’t speak first.

Starting around lunchtime that day, strange rumors began to circulate.

“Hey, did you hear?”

“Really?”

“I heard it happened at the pool yesterday.”

At first, I didn’t realize it was about me.

Then I saw two girls passing in the hallway glance at me and lower their voices, and I understood.

“That’s her.”

“To Bae Do-hoon…….”

I didn’t need to hear the rest.

Apparently, we weren’t the only ones left at the pool yesterday. It took less than half a day for the rumor to spread.

The transfer student from Seoul.

The kid who followed Bae Do-hoon around.

The kid who confessed and got rejected.

A perfect spectacle.

“So embarrassing.”

I buried my face in my desk.

Getting rejected was bad enough, but now there were rumors. The worst dark history of my eighteen years was complete in a single day.

But the strange thing was what came next.

The talk that had been heard here and there until lunchtime vanished like a lie by the afternoon.

The kids who had been giggling at me stopped adding their comments.

In particular, one swimming club senior who seemed to have first spread the rumor—when he ran into me in the hallway, he actually hurriedly avoided my gaze.

It was strange, but I didn’t want to think about it too deeply.

That day, everything was just exhausting. And I really didn’t go to the pool.

A few days later, after class ended, I remembered that I’d left my gym uniform top in the gymnasium.

“Ah…….”

Of all places.

I didn’t want to go.

But I couldn’t just leave it there.

I waited a long while for a time when no one would be around, then headed to the pool.

Fortunately, it was quiet inside. Practice seemed to be over.

When I searched the bench in the gymnasium, the gym uniform shoved in the corner caught my eye immediately.

“Found it.”

Just as I was about to grab it and leave right away.

An open locker caught my eye.

Someone must not have closed the door properly.

Normally, I would have just walked past.

But a name tag stuck on the inside of the door caught my eye. The door was slightly ajar.

Bae Do-hoon.

My steps stopped.

Don’t look.

I decided not to care anymore, didn’t I.

Even as I thought that, my gaze was already heading into the locker.

There was nothing special.

A swimsuit and goggles.

A few neatly folded towels.

And.

“……?”

A small piece of paper was stuck on the inside of the locker door.

A pink Post-it.

Without realizing it, I moved closer.

Crooked handwriting on a slightly crumpled piece of paper.

It took less than a few seconds to recognize it. It was my handwriting.

Eat after swimming. Don’t starve.

It was the note I’d jokingly stuck on the strawberry milk I bought at the convenience store a few days ago and handed to him.

There was no particular meaning.

I’d just heard he wasn’t eating lunch properly, so I bought him one—that was all.

A scrap of paper I’d even forgotten about myself.

But why was it stuck there?

I blankly reached out my hand.

Just before my fingertips touched the paper.

“What are you doing.”

A voice dropped from behind me.

I slowly turned around.

Bae Do-hoon was standing at the pool entrance.

And even in that moment, there was only one thought in my head.

You said you didn’t like me.

You said sorry.

Then what on earth is this.