RPL 18

Chapter 18

I let out a second sigh and straightened my posture.

Then I saw Kiseira come rushing down the stairs with a face full of rage.

She must have come through the secret passage the emperor had told me about.

*Will the emperor come in the evening?*

Stepmother in the morning. Half-sister in the afternoon. If the emperor showed up at night as well, it would truly be a full family gathering.

At that moment, a sharp voice stabbed into my ears.

“What the hell are you doing here so shamelessly?!”

Kiseira stopped a few steps away from the one I was sitting on and planted both hands on her waist.

“Because of the likes of you, I— I—!”

Hostility was sprouting in the words she spat out while panting. Just as I had expected.

Perhaps because I didn’t answer. Or perhaps because she couldn’t contain her anger.

Kiseira’s face crumpled as she suddenly reached out toward me.

“Go back! Go back and stay locked up!”

And she began pulling on my arm.

“Go back to where you were!”

Up close, one of Kiseira’s cheeks was flushed red. It even looked a little swollen.

While I stared at her cheek, my body was being dragged along by her hand.

Even a well-fed, well-grown child’s strength was formidable despite her age.

*What should I do about this?*

No matter how strong Kiseira was, she was still a child. If I wanted to shake her off, I could.

But I couldn’t bring myself to shake off her hand.

My mouth wouldn’t open either, as if it had been glued shut.

“If I lock you up again, Mom… Mom too…”

Kiseira muttered while sweating profusely, as if dragging me was hard work.

Because of that, the child’s red cheek stood out even more.

The reason I couldn’t do anything right now was because of an emotion I had realized—then quickly forgotten—due to a life that was already exhausting and would only become more so.

It was the petty guilt of having held onto this child even while knowing what kind of treatment she would receive from her own mother. It was shame. It was humiliation.

*…Just let her do as she wants.*

Having recognized that emotion once more, I let the strength leave my body and obediently followed Kiseira.

*Even if I’m locked up again, I can get out on my own.*

Before I knew it, we had climbed all the stairs and arrived in front of that room.

It looked exactly the same as when I had left.

“Go in! Get in! And never come out again!”

Kiseira shoved my stiff body. Caught off guard, I stepped into the room.

The room was still pitch-black. It still smelled of death.

“How… how do you close this door? How do I close it?”

Kiseira asked me while repeatedly yanking at the open edge of the door, straining with all her might.

Seeing the child’s flustered face made the heavy feeling that had been choking me a moment ago fade a little, and a laugh almost escaped.

I had already guessed as much when she told me to go back and stay locked up, but it seemed Kiseira had completely forgotten that I had gotten out on my own.

“Want me to close it for you?”

When I asked, Kiseira mumbled and hesitantly nodded.

The way to close the door would be the same as the way to open it. But it wasn’t exactly a good method to use in front of a child.

*Is there another way…*

I scanned the surroundings and soon found what I was looking for, then walked over to where it lay.

“The smell is awful.”

And at that moment, an abrupt remark reached my ears.

I glanced at Kiseira and saw her pinching her nose with a wrinkled expression.

“It’s not just the smell. It’s also dark and damp.”

I gave a short laugh and picked up what I had been searching for from the floor.

“There are a ton of bugs here too, you know?”

“……”

“So get out already.”

Kiseira had been straining to close the door and had ended up coming inside with me.

“What’s that?”

Instead of leaving, Kiseira looked at what I was holding and asked.

I looked down at the thing in my hand and flinched.

Thanks to the light coming through the open door, I could see just how filthy the shackle I had been wearing was.

“…A shackle.”

Had Kiseira seen the same thing? The child’s face looked briefly pale.

“Why that…”

“You’ll probably have to put this on my ankle for the door to close.”

Judging by how it had come undone the moment the door opened that day, the door and the shackle seemed to be connected by some mechanism.

So if I put the shackle back on, the door should close.

“I’m going to close it now, so hurry out.”

I said while looking down at the shackle.

Kiseira backed away with a stiff face, as if something about it greatly unsettled her.

“…!”

Then something hit her foot.

It was the dried-out piece of bread I had dropped on the floor when I threw the food tray to get out.

Seeing the bread crawling with bugs, Kiseira’s face turned so white it was visible even in the dark.

“Not leaving?”

I held the shackle against my ankle and urged her.

I needed Kiseira to leave quickly so I could finish this.

“……”

Kiseira hesitated, glancing at me sideways, then went outside.

Only after confirming she was completely out did I fasten the shackle around my ankle.

It was a disgustingly familiar sensation.

*How many more times am I going to have to do this?*

If she finds out I’ve come out again, Kiseira will come back and make another scene.

If she comes again, should I tell her I can get out on my own?

*Then she’ll just try to torment me some other way.*

Maybe it’s easier to just obediently get locked up every time she comes.

*Creeeak—*

While I was thinking these things, the door began to close.

My prediction had been correct. The setting was so obvious that I couldn’t even laugh.

“You…”

Through the gradually closing door, I could see Kiseira’s confused eyes.

“Do you like it here?”

With Kiseira’s question, the door shut completely.

*Thud.*

Darkness arrived.

“Of course I don’t.”

I muttered.

“…But why did you go back in?”

I had spoken so quietly that I didn’t think she would hear, but Kiseira seemed to have caught it.

*…Ha.*

Instead of answering, I slowly leaned my back against the door and sank down.

A lot had happened, but it had only been two days since I came out.

Perhaps that was why this damp darkness felt so familiar. Familiar enough to make nausea rise.

“Why did you go back in?!”

Even at the repeated question, I didn’t answer. I couldn’t.

Instead I pricked up my ears and waited only for the sound of footsteps.

*Go. Leave. Hurry up and go. I’ll do everything you ask, so please just leave.*

“Are you going to keep living here like before? Can you… not get out now?”

I was waiting for Kiseira to leave when her voice came again.

“Is that still okay?”

At Kiseira’s hesitant question, I furrowed my brow hard and dry-washed my face.

*Ha, seriously…*

Even while swallowing the nausea that had risen all the way to my throat, I still heard no footsteps.

In the end, I opened my mouth.

“It’s not okay. Leave before I trick you again and get out.”

*Please leave quickly. Before, faced with pain and suffering, I stop feeling guilt, shame, or humiliation.*

Did my words get through? Before long, the sound of footsteps reached me.

The hesitant, slow steps gradually grew faster and farther away.

I closed my eyes and counted. I was going to count to a thousand before leaving, then realized how reckless that was and only counted to a hundred.

“…One hundred.”

After opening my eyes, I brought my hand to my mouth.

The day before yesterday I had been so focused on getting out that I hadn’t thought of it, but biting also worked for drawing blood.

I tasted the metallic tang of blood and opened the door.

At the same time the shackle fell to the floor with a *clank*.

“…!”

Was it because that metallic sound was similar to the sound of chains dragging?

Or because I was inside a space that triggered trauma?

The moment I heard it, my eyes squeezed shut on their own.

“I need to change the method.”

I barely managed to open my eyes, muttered to myself, and stepped outside.

If I did this even twice more, I might lose my mind.

“Are you okay?”

It was then.

Someone grabbed my arm.

“…!”

*Didn’t she leave?*

I whirled around in shock. The owner of the hand I had thought was Kiseira’s was none other than Yunid.

*One mountain after another.*

Not only a full family gathering, but even an outsider had shown up. Should I go back in? My head ached.

“Um.”

Yunid, who for some reason seemed hesitant, carefully opened his mouth.

“I’m sorry.”

“What?”

“About what Kiseira did to you.”

“……”

“Of course it’s not something I should apologize for. Just think of it as being on Kiseira’s behalf.”

What is this? Why did he suddenly appear and…

While I stood there unable to say anything from sheer bewilderment, Yunid scratched his cheek and continued.

“She… had her reasons and couldn’t help it. She’s not a bad kid. I’ll… talk to her properly.”

Listening quietly to Yunid’s words, I shook off his hand and turned toward the stairs.

*Don’t tell me…*

Even after realizing my identity, Yunid hadn’t stopped me from following him and Kiseira.

The suspicion and unease I had felt back then began to surge up again.

“Are you okay?”

Yunid came up beside me and asked.

“Your face is pale. Are you feeling unwell…”

I furrowed my brow and turned to face him.

“What does that have to do with you?”

At my irritation-filled voice, Yunid hesitated and closed his mouth.

I turned away from that sight and was about to step onto the stairs when—

“I’m worried.”

Yunid said.

*This is bad.*

I clenched my fist with a hand that had gone cold in an instant.

*I had a feeling.*

Just as I had feared all along, the situation was unfolding according to the original story’s flow.

Otherwise, why would Yunid be worried about the person who had deceived him?

“……”

I turned my body toward Yunid again and recalled the original work.

The male protagonist of the original story, Yunid.

But was he really the male protagonist?

—

“You pulled me out of there! Why didn’t you just leave me to die in there?! Why did you come looking for me?! Why won’t you let me die and make me suffer like this?!”

At some point, Reijina had begun to collapse.

The memories of confinement, her painful body, the empress’s torment, her father’s indifference.

She had endured all that suffering for a long time with the hope that if she just held on, things would eventually get better.

But no matter how much she endured, nothing changed.

The moment she realized that, Reijina crumbled and began to blame Yunid.

Because it truly hurt. Because it was agony. Because she wanted to die but dying felt too unfair.

So she had poured out her anger on the gentle existence who accepted everything she did.

Why did Yunid continue to stay by her side while fully accepting even Reijina’s unreasonable blame and anger?

—

“There is no one by Princess Reijina’s side, is there?”

I bit my lip as I recalled the words Yunid had spoken in the original story.

He had loved Reijina, but perhaps the foundation of that love had been pity.