MBSGBC 30

Chapter 30

—

A long time had passed since the contractions began, but there was still no sign of the birth ending.

“You must not scream too much! You won’t have any strength left to push the baby out.”

The midwife, speaking in a stern voice, instructed a maid to feed Lea pieces of fruit preserved in honey. Lea Ocker, her eyes bloodshot from pain, accepted the fruit and ate it while letting out ragged breaths.

I fled the room as if escaping from all of it.

Rion, who had come after hearing the news, was calm.

“I came to get you.”

“Where to?”

“The mansion is chaotic. Let’s go to the ducal residence and sleep there.”

His hand touched my forehead.

“You have a fever too. Poor thing.”

The hand on my forehead felt cool. Indeed, my forehead was hot.

I shook my head from within the man’s arms that had wrapped around me.

“I can’t leave the mansion right now. No one knows what kind of sudden situation might arise.”

“Your employees are people trained to respond to sudden situations.”

“Still.”

After a moment of silence, I spoke aloud what I had been thinking.

“I really hate that woman.”

“I know.”

“But I also don’t want to see that woman die from something like this.”

“Something like this?”

“Childbirth.”

Rion tightened his arms around me. His soft lips lightly landed on my trembling eyes.

He murmured in a small voice, as if complaining.

“Lea Ocker will survive on her own.”

“Rion.”

“That’s not what’s important right now.”

“Then what is?”

“That you’re sick. And…….”

A voice like a sigh brushed past my ear.

“That you let that thing be born.”

—

* * *

—

I had been sitting on the living room sofa, half-leaning against Rion’s arms, and fell into a shallow sleep, intoxicated by my slight fever.

In my dream, I saw that child.

A beautiful boy with golden hair flowing like honey, looking exactly like his mother.

‘……Lady Ocker.’

I was leaning on a cane, my thin body wrapped in a dark dress, looking down at the child with powerless eyes.

In the end, the adoption document I signed had that child’s name written beneath mine.

Emil Ocker.

I spoke in a voice half-resigned to the child who was looking up at me with an expression mixed with childish stubbornness.

‘Call me Mother.’

‘……I don’t want to.’

‘Then call me whatever you like.’

‘Understood. Lady Ocker.’

‘Yes, Emil.’

I held back a sigh and nodded.

‘Let’s try to get along from now on.’

Lea’s residence was decided to be within the Ocker mansion. It was an annex with a glass greenhouse. I gave her the most beautiful place in this house, and I met the child while crushed under obligation.

My mother-in-law arranged for the child’s basic upbringing to be entrusted to me. Lea refused, but in the end, she followed my mother-in-law’s words.

‘From a young age, he must be raised so that noble manners become ingrained in his body. Though, well, even so, that child can hardly be called very noble.’

I did not talk back to the Dowager’s words. I would only hear more unpleasant things. Through negotiations mixed with struggles between the Dowager and Lea, the child ended up spending six days a week with me.

The child’s basic education, which I encountered that way, was a complete mess. Far from etiquette, he had barely learned letters, to the point where his writing was illegible, and he ate noisily.

The intentions of this family were transparent.

They wanted to make me the villain.

From the first day of education, the child was late to the meal.

‘Emil.’

When I called, the child flinched and raised his head.

‘Why are you late?’

‘Mother…… called me for a moment.’

The child’s gaze was fixed on the floor. The end of his words trailed off subtly.

I looked at the end of the child’s sleeve. Beneath the neatly folded wrist, the fabric was very slightly warped.

‘Hold out your hand.’

‘It’s fine.’

Without a word, I took the child’s hand and rolled up his sleeve. On the white skin, red marks were visible. They were handprints.

‘It was my fault…….’

‘Enough.’

I cut off the child who was about to hastily make excuses. Without letting go of his hand, I turned my head as if taking a moment to steady my breathing.

‘From now on, use me as an excuse to get away.’

The child nodded slightly, unable to raise his head.

—

* * *

—

‘Being able to read and write is impressive. But this alone is not enough.’

The child’s terrible handwriting gradually came to resemble mine.

‘When eating, make almost no sound with the utensils.’

It took a bit more time to fix this. The child, tired of education, tried to fast, so I had to add snack time.

‘Hunching and walking is the worst habit. Straighten your back and hold your neck upright.’

For correcting posture, I invited a separate teacher. This was because there were limits to education with a body leaning on a cane. Pascal Ocker, in response to my request, found a teacher who had worked at the royal court, and acted arrogantly and stiffly as if he had bestowed a favor upon me, not his own child.

‘It’s about time he learned to ride horses as well.’

In this matter, I had to overcome Lea’s fierce opposition. She foamed at the mouth, saying I intended to kill her son, and I had to painstakingly explain how riding was among the most basic accomplishments in noble society.

I did not think Lea was unaware of this fact. She simply wanted to instill fear of me in the child.

After that, I continued to raise the child while juggling the trading company’s affairs. My body, which had never been healthy to begin with, was frequently ill.

The child of the woman who killed my children. For the family that had left me to become like this, I worked, grinding away my body.

Because there was nowhere to run.

Because if I didn’t at least work, I felt like I would collapse and crumble at any moment.

Fortunately or unfortunately, Emil was a very clever child. He learned everything quickly.

‘Lady Ocker.’

Emil was the symbol of my defeat.

‘I heard your birthday is this month. So…… I prepared a gift.’

But at the same time, he was also a very lovable child.

Fourteen years old. The child, who could now speak in an elegant manner with quite graceful posture, had become the person closest to me in the Ocker household before I knew it.

‘I’ll go back now. Mother…….’

‘Yes. Your mother doesn’t like you spending time with me.’

‘I’m sorry.’

‘You have nothing to be sorry to me for.’

I shook my head, thinking of Lea, who clung to Pascal as if compensating for the long years of having her man taken from me.

‘It’s only natural.’

I often thought.

Why is my heart so tender?

Emil Ocker, now twenty years old, came to visit me carrying a snack his mother had placed in his hands. He seemed to think it was a message of reconciliation toward me.

I never once refused the food Emil brought.

The day came when I could no longer hide my worsening symptoms.

‘It seems the snacks you brought me every day were poisoned.’

I left behind my final revenge toward Lea.

‘Lady Ocker. I…… I never.’

The voice of the young man who embraced me with a despairing expression trembled violently.

‘I never meant for this to…….’

I collapsed, and in the arms of the child of my enemy whom I had raised, I let out my last breath.

Immediately after feeling the liberation of finally escaping the Ocker family.

Darkness covered me.

—

* * *

—

When I opened my eyes, what filled my vision was extremely blue eyes.

I felt a sense of déjà vu.

Before returning in time, I remembered seeing very large, blue eyes.

Water-colored eyes that had gazed quietly at my body, much smaller than the iris, and then blinked once, looking upon my entire past life.

And…….

“Did you sleep well?”

Rion asked in a small voice, stroking my cheek.

Only after hearing his voice did it feel like my feet touched the ground. I slowly recognized that I was now in the Otrehaye mansion, and that the master of this place was me, not Mother Shulena.

I looked up at the man’s unearthly beautiful face looking down at me and answered in a small voice.

“I remembered everything.”

The sweat on my forehead had not cooled. Somewhere inside my body felt cold, as if hollowed out.

Unconsciously, I tugged at Rion’s sleeve. Only after grabbing it did I realize I was trembling.

“Irina?”

Instead of answering, I moved closer.

His body heat traveled along my side. It was warm. Like proof that I was alive.

When the arm wrapped around my back tightened, only then did breathing become a little easier. I pressed closer to him. If I separated even once, it felt like I would be swept away by a torrent and never return.

“I’m sorry.”

When I murmured softly, his hand slowly stroked my back.

“Stay in my arms.”

At those words, my body felt relieved first.

While I was catching my breath, a small knock was heard.

It was Cyril.

She quietly entered the room and opened her mouth in a calm voice.

“The child has been born.”