IVPCB 31

Chapter 31

“Wait, isn’t that the title of a fairy tale? And I believe the original title is ‘The Sleeping Princess in the Forest.'”

“I don’t know. If I say it’s that, then it’s that. To put it more simply, I was thinking about how to cure your sleepwalking.”

At my words, Juran’s jaw immediately stiffened.

“Why would you—how do you even know that?”

Where should I even begin explaining this? After organizing my thoughts for a moment, I opened my mouth.

“To start with the ‘how’—it’s because the mark of my gardener, received from the Sacred Tree, is a pair of scissors. The source of your sleepwalking is demonic plants, and apparently I’m the one who can cut them away. That’s what my master said.”

Then I explained to Juran what I’d heard from Aegir—the cause of his sleepwalking and the story about demonic plants.

“So, to summarize, a demonic plant called ‘Black Thorn Vine’ was the source of my sleepwalking? And you, Cassis, who can see demonic plants unlike us, were told the treatment by the master?”

Juran calmly summarized my words with an unreadable expression.

“Yes.”

“Good. I understand the ‘how’ now.”

Juran gave a small nod. It was puzzling that he readily accepted it, since from what he said, it seemed he couldn’t see demonic plants either.

I, of course, believed it because I knew from the original work that Aegir wasn’t the type to lie about such things, but…

“Wait. How can you believe it so easily?”

“Because neither you nor Cassis have anything to gain by lying to me. Ordinary people lie to gain something, not to get tangled up in troublesome affairs.”

At that perfectly reasonable retort, I immediately understood why Juran had believed my words.

At the same time, it bothered me that he dismissed his own sleepwalking as something that would be a ‘troublesome affair’ for me. And in such an indifferent tone, no less.

This child was building a wall against me again.

—

*”…I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen.”*

—

Looking back, the reason I’d become curious about Juran’s sleepwalking in the first place was because he’d drawn a line with me during our first meeting in the garden.

I was afraid that instead of letting me share the burden, he’d carry his illness all alone. I couldn’t even imagine what that would be like for him. That was why I worried, and why Juran kept lingering in my thoughts.

Maybe it was just my own concern. Objectively speaking, Juran was the kind of person who stoically bore his own problems.

But I was a possessor, so I knew his circumstances. That was why I could notice his hidden emotions a step ahead of others, and why I wanted to look deeper into his heart.

“What I really want to know, Anis, is why you care so much about my sleepwalking. It’s a troublesome affair. Like I said.”

Juran asked me, who had been lost in thought for a moment. His face was so detached that I couldn’t begin to guess the emotions behind it.

One night, when the silver crescent moon cast a pale light over the world, I stood in the garden of Heliweka Castle, facing Anis.

“What I really want to know, Anis, is why you care so much about my sleepwalking. It’s a troublesome affair. Like I said.”

The moment I said those words, I saw a crack form in Anis’s expression.

Her crescent-moon-like brows drooped, and the lips that always held a smile trembled pitifully. She looked as if she was about to cry at any moment.

Vaguely, I could tell that my words had cut her.

*’Couldn’t I have said it more gently?’*

As always, my emotions scolded me. I let out a short sigh of self-reproach at my own pathetic words.

But my reason kept prodding me. That I simply couldn’t understand that child’s actions.

“Come to think of it, you were strange before too. You woke me when I was wandering the garden in a sleepwalking state, even though you could have just passed by. On the day you brought me the book, you told me to speak up if I had any worries. And now, having found a way to cure my sleepwalking, you say you’ll jump in and help.”

Only after saying that did I realize it.

I was not naturally gifted at reading others’ emotions or remembering their actions in detail.

Yet here I was, remembering and caring about every word and deed of this child. And wondering why.

“Is that strange?”

Anis asked, frowning.

Just as I couldn’t read your actions, perhaps you also couldn’t read my heart.

“Yes. It’s incomprehensible to me.”

I had always lived by clearly distinguishing between my life and the lives of others.

The people I’d encountered while growing up had always treated me with proper distance. I too had crafted a moderately gentle persona and treated them with courtesy, and until now, there had never been any problem with that.

I had never met anyone before who tried to involve themselves so deeply in my life.

“You just looked troubled. It seemed like someone needed to step forward, so I did.”

After a moment’s hesitation, you answered quietly.

For an instant, I felt as though I’d been struck hard on the head. At the same time, I realized: this child pities me.

It wasn’t that there was no one in this castle who felt sorry for me.

The servants who came to tidy my room would occasionally let brief sympathy flicker in their eyes. The knights I trained with, and people like Madame Marlene, sometimes gave me similar looks.

But those gazes always faded quickly—because I never voluntarily spoke about my father’s violence to those around me.

No one around me was bold enough to bring up the Aldebaran family’s dirty laundry first. As long as I didn’t want it, those around me turned a blind eye.

There were two reasons I never revealed that shameful side of myself.

The first was that I hated being looked at with pity.

Even someone like me—trampled and crushed—still had pride. I thought of pity as an emotion that the powerful bestowed upon the powerless.

I didn’t want to appear helpless. It was my last act of bravado.

The second reason was that I didn’t want to drag anyone else into it.

An ancient sage once said: In every human life, there is a share of suffering that each must bear.

I believed that what happened behind the closed door of my room was the suffering and responsibility I was meant to carry.

“You seem to see me as an object of pity. Don’t. It’s unpleasant.”

With direct and sharp words, I struck at Anis. My heart wasn’t in a good place, but I felt the need to warn her.

So don’t you dare try to pierce through my pride and look into my inner self. I am not as weak as you think.

At my words, your eyes finally crumbled. You lowered your head for a moment. But in the end, you didn’t cry.

Instead, you met my eyes with your vivid green irises shining. At that moment, I knew instinctively.

You are a child just as stubborn as I am—perhaps even more so. I won’t be able to win against you.

“I truly cannot understand.”

You took a deep breath and began.

“I just want to help. Without expecting anything in return. I came to know about it, and I happen to have the means to help, so I said I’d cure your sleepwalking. Is that really something to be upset about?”

Yes. As you said, it’s a simple matter. You treat me, and I accept that help. That would be the end of it, but I can’t let go of my pride, and so I keep sharpening my edge.

“And as for me pitying you—what’s so wrong with that? Do you think it was easy for me to admit that kind of feeling?”

You looked into the empty air for a moment and let out a hollow laugh.

“I’ve been approaching you carefully all along, afraid of hurting your feelings. I agonized over it dozens of times before deciding to help you.”

Those words made my mind go blank.

Until now, I had thought your pity was just a small portion of your overflowing emotions—like a wealthy person tossing a few coins to a poor beggar.

Looking back, you had been trying to persuade me with gentle words in my room. Telling me to speak up if I had any worries.

And I hadn’t noticed that your careful tone was a form of consideration—because I was too anxious about the possibility that you might have noticed my father’s violence.

And after you said you’d take the vase, I realized it.

*’You had already noticed, hadn’t you.’*

Slow-witted as I was, I could only bite my lips and swallow my dismay at that moment.

I hadn’t even tried to understand your feelings or to confide my ‘worries’ to you.

I was simply too busy curling up and thinking of ways to draw the line with you.

“I’m not doing this lightly, Juran. So please, just take my hand once. Alright?”

You, far more mature and deep-hearted than I, now pleaded with me in a gentle voice.

*’Why would you go this far for me?’*

Those words swelled up in my throat.

…Perhaps I was actually happy. That you, whom I’d only recently met, had come to me. That you’d reached out your hand to me.

Because until now, no one around me had ever broken through my walls. Everyone had withdrawn their pitying gazes in front of the mask I’d created and looked at me as the heir of Aldebaran.

My frail and worthless heart had taken a very long detour to accept that fact.

It was then that I realized it. You had already taken hold of a piece of my heart.

But precisely because you were someone who mattered, I had to push you away even more. I didn’t want you to get caught up in my affairs and be put in danger.

*”…It seems you won’t back down like this. Look carefully. And don’t scream.”*

I took a deep breath. The cool night air stung my lungs.

I carelessly tossed aside the gray blazer I was wearing and unbuttoned the cuff of my left shirt sleeve, rolling it up.

Under the moonlight, the state of my arm was horrifying at a glance—from fresh bruises to old ones, densely packed.

After quietly gazing at my own arm, I very slowly turned my gaze toward you.

Would you step back in shock and run away? Or would you faint and collapse on the spot?

Either option seemed fine. Ideally, I hoped you’d be disgusted by me and never come near me again.

If you were to learn that you had helped me, my impulsive and violent father would surely not leave you alone.

I wanted you—who had reached out to me—to be happy.

You had said in my room that my smile was pretty. I admit now that yours is, too.

But when you finally saw the truth, you did not avoid me. Instead, you set your jaw, held your head high, and walked toward me.