BDTIE 06

Chapter 6

The Empress Resolves to Die

“The knights said that either I’ve lost my memory, or I’m pretending to have lost it.”

The man ran one hand through his black hair, looking utterly confused.

“If the Continental Calendar says it’s the year 680, then I should be twenty-six. How is that possible?”

“Have you looked in a mirror?”

“Anyone can see I’m not fourteen. Why do you think twelve years of my memories disappeared?”

“How should I know something you don’t?”

“I think you know, Master. You’re the smartest person I’ve ever met.”

The man spoke with complete seriousness.

If this was all an act, then he was surely a heaven-sent actor.

“It’s difficult to simply believe that you’ve lost your memory.”

“If you want, you can split open my head and look inside. I’m serious.”

“Being serious isn’t proof. I’ll have no choice but to drive you out of the Imperial Palace.”

“Drive me out?”

Golden waves rippled through the man’s eyes.

It was the strongest agitation I had seen from him so far.

“Did you really think I would take in a foreign slave whose identity is unknown?”

“But I’m yours, aren’t I?”

The man’s voice, thick with confusion and sadness, pierced deep into my heart.

Mine.

My possession.

I took a moment to steady my breathing, but the man gave me no chance to gather myself.

“You drove the knights away because you wanted to protect me, didn’t you?”

He asked desperately, like a child clinging to his mother so she wouldn’t abandon him.

He had remained calm even with a sword at his throat, so why was he so afraid now?

His beautiful, deathly pale face stirred my guilt.

“Is a name or a homeland really that important? Important enough for you to throw me away just because I don’t know them?”

Why were you so afraid when you spoke of being abandoned?

What could a master he’d known for only a week possibly mean to him?

With every word the man uttered, I felt as though I were sinking deeper into a bottomless swamp.

I was wavering.

I was being shaken.

I had resolved never again to let my emotions control me, yet this man was threatening to tear down even the resolve I had gained through death.

Unacceptable. No matter what your true identity is.

“You always have a strange way of speaking.”

I erased every trace of emotion from my face and spoke coldly.

Noticing my change, he widened his eyes.

“I have never treated you. I never gave you meat, and I never protected you. I merely gave orders.”

“But…”

“I bought you out of pity, but that is all. This is the Imperial Palace, and we have no need for an unnamed gladiator slave.”

I expected him to demand why I had bought him in the first place.

Instead, the man’s expression darkened.

He slowly took one step backward.

Yet that single step made me feel as though he had moved an immeasurable distance away.

“If Master wants to abandon me, then do so. I will simply obey Master’s orders.”

Why did words of obedience sound so unbearably sad?

Why did the sight of his wounded face tear at my heart?

But enough.

I refused to allow myself any more questions.

“I’ll give you emancipation papers and enough money to settle somewhere. Take them and leave. That is the last kindness I will grant you.”

For two days, I lay sick in bed.

I couldn’t swallow even water, let alone rice gruel.

The finger I had twisted against the spokes of my wheelchair had swollen badly, too.

Countess Bauzen, one of my ladies-in-waiting, nursed me.

Joan never left my side, either.

While drifting in and out of consciousness under the effects of the medicine, I overheard Countess Bauzen and Joan talking.

“Her Majesty’s condition is worsening. The paralysis has spread above her knees.”

“Is there no way to slow it down?”

“Not unless she uses the Eyes of the Stars… I’m afraid she may not even last a few more years.”

Countess Bauzen was a scholar who had studied healing arts at the Royal Academy.

She had also been the lady-in-waiting and personal physician of Beatrice, the previous Empress and Clifford’s mother.

When I breathed my last in my previous life, the last face I saw was Countess Bauzen’s.

‘There are still four years before I die. Why should I live any longer? Dewey must be waiting for me. That child must want to see me again, too…’

My consciousness was hazy.

A beloved face drifted in and out of my vision.

I reached out my hand, but there was no one there to take it.

I was tired of this fragile thread of life.

Tired of the shackles of being an Empress that I had been unable to escape even in death.

I wanted to cast everything aside and soar freely.

But I had no wings.

I had no legs, either.

Why did that man’s face keep appearing before my eyes?

Bronze skin.

Leopard-like eyes.

The sight of his wounded back.

I don’t want to open my eyes.

If I wake up, I’ll have to drive him out of the Imperial Palace.

“His Majesty the Emperor doesn’t seem to care about Her Majesty the Empress’s condition. How can he be so heartless?”

“It’s hardly something that happened only once or twice.”

“After seeing how Her Majesty’s mother passed away, how could he possibly…”

Just as Countess Bauzen dabbed at her tears with a handkerchief, Clifford stormed into my bedchamber.

“The Empress’s attendants seem desperate to insult me whenever they get the chance.”

“Your Imperial Majesty!”

“Go on. I found what you were saying about my mother rather interesting.”

“I-I beg your pardon.”

“Go ahead and tell me. Tell me how miserably my mother died, and how heartless the Crown Prince was!”

A cold blue light flashed in Clifford’s eyes.

I braced my thin arms against the bed and barely managed to raise my upper body.

“Please, stop.”

“Your Majesty! You mustn’t get up in your condition!”

“I’m fine.”

I wanted my voice to sound a little stronger, but my cracked lips made even that difficult.

Clifford looked down at me with icy eyes.

“Getting up so quickly? Embarrassed because your feigned illness has been exposed?”

“I’m at a loss for words over your concern for me.”

“While the Empress has been lying around playing sick, the Autonia delegation has arrived.”

The Kingdom of Autonia, located in the southeastern part of the continent, was a precious ally that Angel could neither afford to lose nor afford to neglect.

Without Autonia’s reinforcements, Angel would have lost the war against the Colonaatus Empire.

Though they had never declared themselves an empire, their national power rivaled that of one.

Every year, Autonia sent a delegation to Angel to strengthen the friendship between the two nations.

Of course, that was merely the official justification.

Their true purpose was to extract Angel’s resources according to their own interests.

The head of this year’s delegation was Gillian, Autonia’s third prince.

He was ambitious and devious, just like his father.

I should have handled him myself.

But I had collapsed with a high fever, leaving Clifford to receive the delegation.

What else had changed?

I couldn’t suppress the rising unease in my chest.

“The prince certainly has some nerve. He agreed to let our knights inspect the border between Autonia and Colonaatus.”

For a moment, I wondered if I had misheard him.

Even if they were allies, he had agreed to let knights from another country inspect their border?

What kind of fool would do something so absurd?

“I’ve obtained a perfect opportunity to observe the enemy’s movements. Why aren’t you pleased?”

“Autonia would never open its border to us for free.”

“Strictly speaking, it isn’t for free.”

“What did they demand in return?”

“The Empress should focus on recovering her health. That way, you can use that precious Eyes of the Stars to help our ally.”

Crack.

It felt as though my heart had been crushed.

My split lips trembled.

“Don’t tell me you agreed to hand over the capital?”

“Only temporarily.”

“What?!”

“We’re also receiving two million gold. Quite a profitable arrangement, don’t you think? I should even be able to clear the debt you were so worried about.”

Clifford smiled with satisfaction.

His final words drove into my back like a razor-sharp blade.

“Surely you don’t mean you’re unwilling to do even that much for the Empire, do you? Your exalted Majesty the Empress.”

Clifford found Autonia’s third prince, Gillian, irritating.

He disliked the way Gillian’s eyes roamed over his surroundings as though he were putting a price on everything.

He disliked his arrogant attitude, too, as though he were already the commander of an occupying army.

He had heard that Gillian was in his forties, yet his skin was taut like that of a man in his twenties, and his eyes held an aggressive glint.

“When might I have the honor of meeting Her Majesty the Empress?”

“Please wait until the Empress has recovered her health.”

“You’re not merely dragging this out unnecessarily, are you?”

“Are you doubting me?”

“Of course not. I’m simply grateful that Your Majesty has agreed to such a difficult request. Hahaha!”

Gillian laughed heartily, as though he had just made an amusing joke.

“An Empress who can see the future. How enviable. And I’ve heard she’s considered the greatest beauty in the Empire?”

“Rumors tend to exaggerate.”

“According to my second elder brother, who previously led the delegation, she is beautiful enough to appear in one’s dreams. He said even a fairy could never be as beautiful as Angel’s Empress.”

Clifford clenched his fists.

He remembered Stella laughing freely in front of foreign delegations and the men who had been utterly captivated by her beauty.

She had never once given him a sincere smile, yet she sold cheap smiles to filthy foreigners.

How fitting for a woman obsessed with power.

‘Show them you can do just fine without Stella. Cliff is a capable Emperor!’

Recalling Michelle’s encouragement, Clifford steadied his breathing.

With Stella incapacitated, this was his opportunity to prove his diplomatic abilities to the ministers.

But he couldn’t tolerate some prince from a remote kingdom treating him with contempt.

‘Autonia looks down on the Empire because of Stella’s submissive diplomacy. Even if we received their help in the war, that was already two years ago.’

As Emperor, Clifford had to preserve his dignity.

That was what was best for the Empire.

“Show the Empress the proper respect, Prince.”

“My apologies. I had no idea Your Majesty cared so deeply for your wife.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve heard your harem is filled with female slaves.”

“What?!”

“I’ve also heard that Her Majesty the Empress has taken a lover. I must say, I’m quite envious of Angel’s open-minded culture.”

Gillian ran his tongue over his thin lips.

Clifford shot to his feet.

“If I’ve offended you, I apologize.

In Autonia, simply stating a fact is not considered an insult.”

“I will not tolerate any further insolence!”

“Surely you’re not threatening to sever diplomatic relations?”

“Why shouldn’t I? I’m not as soft a target as the Empress.”

Clifford spat out the words.

Gillian answered as though surprised, though there was a hint of amusement in his expression.

“To speak of severing relations with a delegation that came to strengthen our friendship… How am I supposed to report this situation?”

“Surely even your father doesn’t need an ally like Angel?”

Gillian’s question was laden with meaning.

Only belatedly did Clifford realize that something had gone terribly wrong.

「You must not use the Eyes of the Stars! Your life is in danger!」

Countess Bauzen’s face came to me in a sudden flash—the face of the old woman who had collapsed in tears.

I had no tears left to shed, so I couldn’t cry alongside the kind-hearted old woman.

If I used the Eyes of the Stars frequently, I would die even sooner than twenty-six.

‘He must have decided that widowhood will come sooner than divorce. He’s planning to use my power until the day I die.’

A dry laugh escaped my lips.

For Clifford, wasn’t that a rather clever choice?

But I had never imagined he would sell me to another country.

He was actually lending out the Eyes of the Stars, the symbol of the Empire.

I thought I had grown accustomed to betrayal.

But you always found new ways to teach me just how cruel people could be.

How heartless a person could become.

How worthless the bond between husband and wife could be.

I took a silver medicine bottle, about the length of two fingers, from the bedside drawer.

Inside was a deadly poison.

Three drops would induce a deathlike state.

Five drops would kill without pain.

It was a gift my father, Marquis Landesta, had given me when I entered the palace as the Crown Princess.

「If your honor is ever sullied, take your own life. That way, our family can produce the next Empress.」

I had no reason to live.

Nor did I have any reason not to die.

I was merely a little curious why the Goddess had brought me back to life.

Who would cry for me?

At least I wouldn’t be sad over my own death.

“What a pitiful life you’ve led, all the way to the end.”

I picked up the bottle containing the deadly poison.

Because of my injured hand, even opening the lid was difficult.

Then a black shadow fell across the window.

‘An assassin? What incredible timing. I’ll have an even grander funeral than if I’d killed myself.’

The short span of my life flashed before my eyes.

A girl who had never been allowed to laugh or cry to her heart’s content.

A doll stripped of every desire and raised solely to serve the Empire.

I should have resented them with all my heart.

I should have struggled and screamed that I hated it.

Regret came rushing over me.

But it was all over now.

The unfamiliar shadow slipped into my bedchamber.

I clenched my fist and glared at the black silhouette.

Until I saw a face beautiful enough to stop my breath—

and a pair of golden eyes.

“I remembered my name.

And I remembered why Master must not abandon me.”