IDHGA 07

Chapter 07

It seems my father is under quite the misconception.

I stared at him with cold eyes.

“Father. Why do parents… think that simply giving birth is enough to fulfill their duty?”

“Eloise. What nonsense are you—”

“Until now, I tried to think that you must have your reasons. That there was something more important than what your daughter wanted, or what your wife wanted. Just as Mother used to say.”

But I don’t think I need to do that anymore.

I spat out in a chilling tone, meeting my father’s gaze squarely.

Father had always been like that.

When Mother and I needed him, he was always busy with matters for the Empire, things we supposedly couldn’t understand.

There was a time, once.

When Mother was pregnant, she had begged him to stay by her side for just one day.

Please, she said, she wouldn’t ask for much—just to be in the same space.

That evening, Father received the Emperor’s summons to attend a banquet in his honor for brilliantly repelling an enemy invasion. He coldly brushed Mother aside and left the house.

When Mother pleaded with him to send someone else in his place, just for that evening, Father glared at her with icy eyes.

And that day, Mother miscarried my younger sibling.

“You never once acted like a father, and yet now you speak of paternal duty? Don’t you think that’s a bit selfish?”

“Since when is there selfishness or not between parent and child? I am your father, and I have every right to say this much to you!”

“Hah. Father. Do you take people for livestock?”

Even as they cut open her belly to remove the dead child, even as she writhed in pain and loneliness, Mother could not bring herself to resent Father—she only let out desperate wails.

Holding onto me, a young child who understood nothing, she cried with a heart-wrenching sorrow, and I wept with her, unable to let go of her through that night without Father.

Mother, who whispered apologies to me all through the night, passed away less than a week later.

Even until her dying breath, Mother gazed at the door that would not open, waiting for Father.

And yet, she begged me to understand him.

That earnest plea was so pitiful and heartrending that in my previous life, I tried desperately to understand Father.

Sometimes, catching glimpses of his fleeting emotions, I thought he did care for me.

I even tried to figure out what it was.

My mother and I spent our whole lives trying to find some compromise that would let us understand Father’s actions, and we both closed our eyes in failure.

“If you wanted me to grow up as nothing but a loyal, tail-wagging beast, you should have beaten me! You should have fed me, trained me, raised me into an animal that would obey your every command without question!”

“What insolence is this in front of your father!”

“You never even paid me enough attention to raise me as livestock instead of a person, and yet now you speak of parent and child? You never once spared me a glance while I was growing up human under the care of Mother and my nanny!”

So now, I must not make the same mistake twice.

What exactly is this hidden sentiment of yours that you guard so fiercely?

Whatever grand feeling it is that you would sacrifice your daughter and your wife to protect—I no longer care.

In my past life, you were the one who abandoned us. So this time, it will be me who abandons you.

I glared at my father, who was beside himself with anger and dismay, and then opened the carriage door that had come to a stop.

This time, I will sever ties with my father completely.

—

I had thought it was just a simple party inviting a few acquaintances, merely borrowing the Princess’s name. But upon arriving, it was a social gathering worthy of the Imperial family’s title.

This garden party was attended not only by the Princess but also by the late Empress’s mother, the Dowager Duchess Harriet.

The party, which included not just nobles but also noble ladies, young lords, and misses, was reminiscent of a ball at the Imperial Palace. And of course, Asirid was there as well.

“It’s been a while, my lady.”

“…I greet the Duke.”

With a face that seemed thinner than before, Asirid smiled at me.

I suppose I can understand—after all, I’m the one who loves you. But why do *you*, who has no memories or feelings, look so haggard?

Are the collateral branches causing trouble again? Or could it be… because of me?

I wanted to tell him, *Are you already falling for me? Because I actually have feelings for you too.*

The words rose to the tip of my tongue, but I averted my gaze from him and kept my mouth shut.

“You look rather gaunt, my lady.”

“Thank you for your concern.”

“Has something happened? I heard you hadn’t been out of the Marquess of Wellington’s residence for a while.”

“Nothing happened. I’m fine.”

“Are you eating well?”

“I appreciate your kindness, Duke. But I’m truly fine.”

The conversation continued, on the verge of breaking off, again and again.

He, with a somehow pitiful voice, and I, resolutely trying to distance myself from him.

I, who merely wears the empty shell of a fifth-rank noble, and Asirid, whose power and prestige are truly formidable.

Anyone could see it made no sense, but I had to manage it.

I could feel more and more people glancing our way, their attention gathering. Deciding that I must not be seen with him any longer, I firmly pushed him away.

“Duke, if you don’t mind, may I take my leave now?”

“Ah. I apologize, my lady. I seem to have kept you too long.”

“Thank you for your understanding.”

If I had known the party would be like this, I would have made an excuse and not attended.

I turned my back on him with a slow motion, inwardly sighing again and again.

He is a person I find hard to forget even in my thoughts.

And how could it be easy to refuse him while looking at his face?

Careful not to catch the eye of my father, who was deep in conversation with the Crown Prince in the distance, I hurriedly left the spot.

If you go just a little further back from the garden in front of the Princess’s palace where the party was held, you’ll find a thicket of rose bushes.

Thinking of a place that people who fear the thorns and rarely go near wouldn’t know, a spot out of sight, I quickened my pace.

I had already paid my respects to the Princess, the hostess, so hiding until the party ended should be fine.

Pretending to look for a restroom inside the building, I circled around and began walking toward my destination.

Fortunately, there was no one around, and I breathed a sigh of relief, thinking I could hide smoothly.

But no sooner had I calmed my mind…

“Oh my, have you lost your way, my lady?”

Suddenly, a voice that sent a chill down my spine came from behind me.

The Crown Prince, Cherod Elsius Hu Livre, was the epitome of a leader.

Everyone acknowledged that he was a capable leader—brilliant intellect, bold personality, eloquent speech, and handsome looks. He lacked nothing.

But there was one, one very terrible habit he had.

“I followed you just in case. My lady truly does enjoy hide and seek, doesn’t she?”

“…I apologize, Your Highness. I lost the maid who was guiding me and ended up here.”

“You have nothing to apologize for. It was the maid’s fault for not guiding you properly. Thanks to her, I get to see your face like this, so it’s a good thing.”

Do you know how long I’ve been looking for you?

He smiled brightly as he looked at me.

The Crown Prince’s one and only fatal flaw.

It was his obsession with seemingly trivial and unimportant things.

Once something caught his interest, he would pursue it regardless of its efficiency.

And most of those things were related to Asirid.

In my past life, the Princess had said it was *because of the Duke*.

*’My older brother truly, truly despises the Duke of Fontaine. His Majesty compares my brother to the Duke every single day. In the end, it’s an inferiority complex. Anything related to the Duke, he’ll chase after with fire in his eyes. That’s why he’s obsessed with the Duchess too.’*

It was around the time that rumors started to spread quietly throughout the Empire.

The Princess, who had summoned me as usual, strangely didn’t run straight to Asirid but waited for me instead.

She said she was telling me this because she felt sorry for me, and that if I stepped away from Asirid’s side, the Crown Prince’s interest would naturally fade.

She probably thought that if I broke up with him, she would naturally claim his side, and he wouldn’t have to suffer anymore—so it was a win-win.

Looking back now, it wasn’t wrong, but at the time, I believed that as long as I was steadfast with him, we could overcome anything that came our way.

Perhaps that was a foolish thought.

I looked at the Crown Prince, who was smiling broadly at me.

“I apologize. I didn’t know Your Highness was looking for me.”

As I bowed deeply, the Crown Prince waved his hand to stop me.

“There’s no need for that, my lady. I came looking for you because I wanted to see you. So won’t you show me your face a little longer? I’d like to take in as much as I missed.”

To anyone listening, it would sound like we were inseparable lovers.

And if it weren’t me standing here, the Crown Prince would probably have enjoyed the sight of a blushing young lady’s face to his heart’s content.

But I had no affection for him, nor was I the kind of person to be swayed just because he was the Crown Prince.

“I am deeply honored, Your Highness. However, I am not worthy of Your Highness’s attention. If you will permit me, I would like to take my leave.”

According to what the Princess told me in my past life, he no longer had any reason to be interested in me.

Because I was no longer Asirid’s wife.

I figured that if I refused him a few times, his interest would quickly fade.

I knew it was a bit complacent, but I didn’t see any other option right now.

Father and the Crown Prince hadn’t made their move yet, and Asirid was safe for the time being.

So if I just held out and quietly fled to the North, wouldn’t that work?

Thinking of a plan too flimsy to even call a plan, I waited for him to speak.

It would be best if he told me to leave; otherwise, I’d think of another way.

Just as I was racking my brain like that…

“You really don’t understand my feelings, my lady. That’s rather harsh of you.”

A disgruntled, sullen voice came from above.

“Don’t be like that, won’t you show me your face? Hmm? I’ve been holding back my desire to leave the palace every single day because I missed you so much.”

He spoke in a whining voice, saying how much he’d missed me, and I thought—

Ah.

…Just who is being harsh here?

I gritted my teeth and barely suppressed the curse that almost escaped my lips.

“I’m sorry, but it seems there is someone else who deserves your feelings, Your Highness. I will be returning to the North shortly, so it would be best for you to find someone else who needs your attention.”

Please, I beg you, just leave me alone.

Just as I was praying inwardly—

Suddenly, a hand appeared and roughly grabbed my arm.

“Did you just say you’re going back to the North? Even when I told you I wanted to see you?”

“Ah! Your Highness!”

The smile was gone, replaced by the cold face of a ruthless ruler as the man looked down at her.

“…Eloise. Do you find my words amusing? Do you think you can refuse me when I’m clinging to you like this?”

“Your Highness!”

My captured arm began to ache more and more.

I thought it might even be crushed.

Just then, a loud noise suddenly erupted from behind us.