ETVEWHF 4

Chapter 4

“What…?”

“You don’t need to pack anything for me. I’ll head out on my own tomorrow.”

“Absolutely not!” Kristine shouted. Her vision of spending quality time as a whole family was completely ruined.

Howard managed to soothe Kristine Blackwood by explaining that he was only stepping out for a few days due to work.

Still, the emotion I had picked up beneath the rain-soaked sky was undeniable. Reunited with his wife, Howard had been practically swept up in a wave of tears and raw passion.

Because of that, I had guessed he might actually harbor a decent amount of goodwill toward me.

If the future played out strictly according to the book, my plan was to gather up my jewels, claim my divorce settlement, step away, and live out a quiet life in the countryside.

However, if I could nurture Howard’s feelings so that his sense of duty as a husband outweighed any future love for another woman… staying as a Blackwood might actually be the safer path. After all, it wasn’t an easy world for a woman to survive in on her own.

Feeling what he felt, I even wondered if he hadn’t met Cassy just yet. It wasn’t as if another war was guaranteed to break out anytime soon.

Yet, here he was, proposing an immediate separation.

So he didn’t cry out of longing for his wife after all? He doesn’t miss her, nor does he particularly care for her?

I was certain I had felt his grief and longing.

Let me rethink this.

Right. That longing might not have been meant for Rowina at all. Even without feelings for his wife, coming back alive from a grueling war zone could make anyone emotional upon returning home. Or maybe he had already fallen for another woman and was simply lamenting his own fate—being bound to a wife he didn’t love.

Yeah, it’s definitely better to scrap the plan of winning Howard over to stay here.

Emotions aren’t governed by logic; they are messy, complex, and wildly unpredictable.

Stockpiling jewelry, securing a clean divorce settlement without giving him any fault to pin on me, and then leaving. That’s the best way forward.

While I was lost in these thoughts, dinner came to an end.

“Rowina, head over to Mr. Ron’s shop tomorrow morning.”

“Yes, Mother.”

I readily accepted the task Kristine Blackwood assigned me, partly because I genuinely wanted to get a breath of fresh air. I had been put under house arrest shortly after getting married, after all.

House arrest for a fully grown adult?

I understood why, though. During the few social gatherings Rowina had attended, she had repeatedly made the same kind of insensitive slips as she did at the funeral.

Besides, if I wanted to collect valuable jewelry that was easy to carry or convert into cash, I needed to be able to leave the mansion unmonitored. To achieve that, winning Kristine’s favor was essential.

Conveniently, an event was about to happen that would test whether the book’s future was real while also putting Kristine in my debt. For that alone, I had no choice but to accept her offer.

“You’ve eaten well, haven’t you? Let’s return to our rooms now.”

“Mother, allow me to escort you.”

Nigel stepped forward to escort her, and the two walked away.

…Come to think of it.

We’re sharing the same bedroom tonight?

I had heard that couples who were on bad terms or had been married for a long time often used separate rooms. But whether it was out of mindfulness toward the household or just treating this as a proper honeymoon period, Howard naturally shared the room with me.

When we reached the master bedroom, Howard personally held the door open for me. Watching his back as he closed the door behind us, an impulsive question slipped out.

“Is your work really that urgent?”

Could he be going to meet Cassy Weatherbill?

The corners of Howard’s lips curled into a gentle smile. A playful grin broke across his face, which looked slightly exhausted from the long journey.

“Do you miss me already?”

“No, that’s not it—”

The moment the words left my mouth, I realized I sounded completely like a jealous wife! An uncontrollable wave of embarrassment washed over me, making me feel like squirming on the spot.

“Rowina.”

“How about a drink!”

He took a step closer to me.

“To catch up properly.”

“…Sure.”

After changing into my nightgown with a shawl draped around my shoulders in the dressing room, I returned to find a square glass filled with liquor and ice sitting on the table.

Draped in his robe, he offered a light smile and tapped the chair beside him.

I took a small sip of the drink. It tasted terrible.

“How have you been doing?”

“Well, probably not much different from what you’d expect. Managing soldiers who only had a few months of training, handling supplies, and occasionally grabbing a rifle when close-quarters combat broke out…”

“Have you ever been injured? Surely it wasn’t zero times.”

“I’m completely fine now.”

Howard seemed reluctant to talk about the war.

…I probably would feel the same way in his shoes.

“Are you doing alright mentally?”

“…”

“I heard that soldiers often struggle even more once the war is over.”

After the draft was declared, ordinary people were transformed into soldiers overnight. They were thrown onto battlefields where they could die in five minutes, armed with nothing more than haphazard, makeshift training.

Of course, strictly speaking, Howard wasn’t just a regular civilian. Having graduated from the military academy following in his father’s footsteps—who was a lieutenant general in the army—he had served briefly before receiving an early discharge.

“How fascinating.” His gaze felt intensely focused on me. “You never used to be curious about me.”

I brought the glass to my lips, averting my eyes.

I didn’t think my personality was the exact opposite of Rowina’s. After learning to control my emotions, people often remarked on how calm I was. That was probably why the servants didn’t find my behavior particularly strange either.

Still, as a human being with actual feelings, I couldn’t act entirely like the old Rowina. It was only natural to worry about someone who had spent years on a battlefield, wasn’t it?

“I’m planning to pay more attention from now on.”

Outside, rain continued to patter against the windowpane. Between those rhythmic sounds, his quiet murmur seeped through.

“…Is that so?”

“……”

“Rowina. You really have changed a lot.”

Then, he leaned in toward me. His scent and a wave of warm heat suddenly enveloped me. Instinctively, I lowered my eyes.

His long, straight fingers reached toward the back of my head, and I felt him gently touch my hair. When his hand pulled back, he was holding a bobby pin used to secure my updo—one the maid had missed when undoing my hair.

Feeling strangely teased, I touched my hair. Howard was staring intently at me all the while.

“Rowina.”

“Yes?”

“Your face is flushed.”

Setting the bobby pin aside, Howard lightly stroked the side of my cheek with his fingertips.

Wait, this mood is—

I couldn’t catch my breath. I tried to maintain my usual expressionless face, but I had no idea if I was succeeding.

My mind involuntarily flashed back to our wedding night—or rather, Rowina’s.

A wedding night holds significant meaning for a married couple. For instance, if a couple that never consummated their marriage decides to separate, it is treated as an annulment, not a divorce.

‘Rowina’ had known that fact too.

—There is a high chance I won’t feel any joy, excitement, or pleasure tonight.

—……

—I won’t dare refuse you. However, I thought I should let you know that someone who is often called a corpse in daily life might be the exact same way in bed.

After that disastrous wedding night with a flawed woman, Howard had said:

—This won’t happen again.

From then on, day after day, Howard simply slept beside Rowina without touching her.

Now, those endlessly deep eyes were fixed straight on me. It was a piercing gaze that made me feel as though my secret—that I wasn’t really Rowina—was about to be exposed.

The hand that had lingered on my cheek slowly drifted down to my lips. Trapping my chin, his thumb pressed firmly against my lower lip, and I froze like a statue under his touch.

It felt as though his fingertips were about to brush against my teeth. When I looked up at him with wide, incredulous eyes, his movement stopped.

I couldn’t squeeze out a single word. As the hand on my face finally pulled away, I shifted my body slightly to the opposite side.

In response, he closed the distance again and wrapped his arms around me from behind.

“It’s up to you.”

The man’s arms enveloped my back and shoulders as he continued softly.

“Tell me what you want. Anything…”

Rowina’s memories resurfaced once more.

Howard used to say this to his wife quite often. Every time, Rowina would reply that she didn’t want anything in particular—because she lacked emotions. Then Howard would tell her to let him know without hesitation if she ever changed her mind.

A surge of heat welled up inside my chest.

To pour out words that would have enchanted anyone other than Rowina, only to end up falling for another woman in the end anyway.

“Will you really give me anything I ask for?”

Even now, harboring someone else in his heart, he was acting as if he would grant my every wish.

“Even if I ask for a divorce?”

The moment those impulsive words broke from my lips, the arms holding my shoulders went completely rigid.